ANING is CRAZEEEHHH! :3

I hope someday they would learn to understand that this is just who I am, that I don't need to be someone else because someone might get hurt because of me being me. I did not and I'm not doing anything wrong, as far as I'm concerned. Just because I'm not like you, and I'm not BEING like you, doesn't mean I'm wrong. Just stop expecting too much from me, and get a life or something.

...

Okay, I just realized that was totally wrong. I have to change, because it might be wrong for them, or for the majority, or I might as well think that I was wrong too. Sometimes you do things that makes you happy, or you do these things just for fun, and you don't realize that people around you are getting affected, and eventually will get hurt because of those actions you made. Maybe I'm doing that now, because I like to have fun, and sometimes the fun that my friends and I have, offends others.

I don't know what to do. Should I stop? so people won't get hurt, or should I continue doing what I do, which is being myself, and never mind them??

Maybe all I need is an attitude make over, again. I want to start living clean, and guilt-free, and happy, and innocent or naive. I'm still not in that zone right now. But, I'm working on it. :|

I don't know how to feel.

My parents, they don't encourage me to do what I want. They always tell me what to do. They don't care if I don't like doing those things they just say what they want. They never appreciate my works.

If I have this big responsibility ahead of me because of my own decisions, instead of keeping my spirits up, they question my abilities. That's why I ask myself if I can really do it. They don't trust me with anything. That's why I never believe in myself.

They are always mad at me. Just by looking at me they'll have that face... the face telling me that I should never have existed.

They always tell me how ugly I am. How fat, how dark, how messed up.

They don't understand that this is just who I am. They don't accept me for me. They feel that maybe because they are the ones who created me, they thought they could create my whole life.

I do not believe in freedom and democracy, not until I get out of here.

Bakit ang init? Naligo naman ako (kaninang umaga)! Totoo ngang dapat dalawang beses naliligo sa isang araw ang mga tao sa Pilipinas. Ang lagkit ko na. Sabi nga ni Angel Locsin, "Ligo lang? Kulang!" Dapat ligo taymis two! ligo ka ng ligo ka ng ligo ka ng ligo. HAHA BOO!

Parang katulad sa SM Fairview. "Annex lang? Kulang!" Dapat annex taymis two! Annex na annex! AHAHA. ang kulit ko.

Pumunta kami ngayon sa hindi ko alam kung saan basta doon sa pagitan ng araneta at quezon ave. Ininterview namin 'yung mayari ng company na gagawan namin ng automated billing system. Okay lang naman ang kinahantungan namin (sa tingin ko), at nagpakamature naman kami sa abot ng aming makakaya. Pero narealize ko lang na sobrang importante na talaga ng pagpapakapropesyunal / pagpapakadalaga sa edad kong ito haha.

"Third year na kayo. You still have no sense of professionalism. Wala ba kayong P.D. (personality development) subject? I.T. kayo diba? Makakarating 'to sa i.t. department." Sabi ng professor ko sa labor law. Arouch naman!

-hmm. okay? May point siya. Tama ba naman kasi ang magpasak ng tissue sa ilong habang nagkklase si ma'am, at tama rin bang huwag siyang batiin kapag pumapasok na siya sa classroom? Mali 'yon. AHAHA. Pero kasalanan ko ba kung late bloomers kami? At kasalanan rin ba namin kung wala kaming P.D. class at hindi kami naturuan ng tama? AHAHA. Nagdahilan pa!

Pero hindi na ako papalag, tama siya. Dapat na kaming magpaka... TINO.

Bumili pala ako ng "Stainless Longganisa" ni Bob Ong. Baka sakaling maengganyo akong muli sa pagsusulat, o kabaligtaran. May matutunan kaya ako dito? Makita ko kaya ang sense of professionalism dito? Bahala na. Basta nalagasan ako ng 150 pesos kahit walang kasiguraduhang may mapapala ako. Oh yes, carefree life. HAHAHAHAHA.

Saan ba nakakabili ng "Sense of Professionalism"? May libro na bang naisulat doon? Dapat ba hindi pinapapawisan at nauusukan ang may sense of professionalism? Sinong makakapagbigay ng tips diyan?! AHAHA. Ayoko na nga, baka kasuhan na ako ng professor ko. article 2010 section 103 of the 19something constitution of the Pilipayns.

Hallelujah! Isa akong patapon sa Pilipinas. Sue me. xD