After writing my last post yesterday morning, here I am, feeling much better now.

I actually felt scared of opening my Facebook page when I woke up at noon today. Scared of what comments I might get from the people who read it. I cried when I read the comments. I do not know if  its because I pity myself or its because I've recieved some sort of sympathy, understanding... and love  from other people which I had been looking for so long.

I know I am much stronger than all the pain that I've been going through all these years. Thank God for all the strength that He has given me through those people who always believe in me specially my mom.

I am starting to reassemble some of the broken pieces of my being since I know I can't afford to be down again. I started with rennovating my online portfolio... 2 days ago, I was told not to report in the office anymore. Di pa ako nakakapagreport regularly sa work ko. It was so sudden, they rejected me, when they didn't let me prove myself to them. I went home silent... and broke the news to my mom. She tried to enlighten despite what happened. But me... I just lost my self-confidence and was so mad. I pretended though that I am still okay. But really, I am not.

I don't know when I can finally finish my online portfolio since I want it to be beautiful. I am having a real hard time finishing this because of my computer's problem. Daming trojan at worm. Hayyz. Ayun laging lag. Plus the tons amount of image files stored, and low RAM.

Here's the link of the draft of my online portfolio:
http://yummydingding.webs.com/v2/index.html

I'm still gonna edit some of the codes, di ko alam bakit naurong yung bg ammf. Wala pa ding laman yung ibang pages maliban sa HOME at ABOUT.

I am gonna use my online portfolio on finding models to shoot... FOR FREE in EXCHANGE I will give them the final frames and have them printed FOR FREE.

Sumaya din ako ngayon cause I had a fun conversation with Gerard. One of my ex's barkadas in Parkway. He wanted to conduct a photoshoot with me. We're both excited but its kinda difficult to find the props needed for the shoot. *DIES*

Sana talaga matuloy yun para masaya hehehe.

I am kinda addicted to Paramore's The Only Exception song lately... Parang natamaan ako sa bitterness niya sa love and then towards the end of the song she chooses to believe in it. It kinda made me think of him again., I haven't talked to him for 2 days na. Alam kong galit siya sa mundo ngayon due to some instances that happened 3 weeks ago. I've never seen him go mad like that. Nag-aalala ako.

Hmm so I think this wraps it up. Normal na ulit ako.
Good moorning gotta go to sleep.