printf("Hello World!");

Sa tinagal tagal ko ng hindi nagbblog, muntik ko ng makalimutan ang password ko dito. Asan ba ko? :)) Kahit nung bakasyon parang nagbakasyon din ako, ni walang updates sa mga kabangagan, mga kasiyahan, mga kalungkutan :)) emo naman nun. Anyways, naisipan ko ulit magblog.

Ngayong week ko lang narealize na enrolled na pala ako sa 1st sem bilang 4th yr student. So, kailangan ko pa talagang ibagsak ang dalawang quiz, masabihan ng may tatlo na akong absent at masabihang hindi ako ggradweyt :)) waw nagising ako dun ah. Pero bakit ganun? kung kelan naman patapos na, parang ayoko ng tapusin ang kurso ko. Pero ang totoo nyan, naging busy kami sa ibang pinapagawa ng iba naming prof. I mean hindi nakaprioritize yung iba. Ang gulo. Ang daming thesis. Nalilito ako. Apat na beses na kaming nareject ng thesis partner ko sa ipinasa naming thesis "title" TITLE palang ha! -.- merong background of the study, syempre statement of the problem, at mga achuchuchung sakit sa ulo. At hindi pa yan. May thesis din sa pag gawa ng system ng isang company, eh kaso walang pa kaming company na nakukumbinsi, sino nga naman ang magtitiwala samin? adik naman ng sem nato.

Oo. Nagbalik ako para magreklamo! :)) Minsan nalulungkot ako dahil ayokong pakinggan ang sarili kong nagrereklamo... at least ngayon mababasa ko na lang XD

Kahit ultimong plurk binabastos nako dahil hindi ako nag-uupdate... makikita mo na lang isang maliit na arrow kadikit ng karma mo at nagsasabing "Karma down ka! bleh!" ang sarap sirain ng laptop. :))) Buti na lang may facebook! wahahaha may barnbuddy, petsoc, resto city, mafiawars, vamp wars etc XD kaya pag bumagsak ako ngayong sem, kasalanan ng facebook! wahahahahahaha!

teka panuorin nyo muna tong mga pang umagang videos:

halos isang week din akong naderpive sa internet connection na nakasanayan na... dahil sa sakit... yes, another week... ganun din ang nangyari sakin last year... pagkatapos magpakabusy ng isang taon ay mistulang nagkakaroon ako ng sarili kong debriefing kapag summer, nagkakasakit ako. At ang mga sakit na iyon ay pansamantalng pinuputol ang buhay ko, ang pagiinternet... c'mon parang one week lang eh, pag bukas mo ng laptop, para kang alien na nagbukas ng lampara sa probinsya... XD bano.

kung last year dengue, ngayun iba iba..
ulcer, hepa, typhoid fever.. :)))) parang nangolekta lang ng sakit.. di naman ako nasisiyahan sa mga yan... pero, grabeng abala ang gingawa sakin, supposed to be ay nag-aapply nako para sa ojt, pero nandito parin ako, at nagtatayp...

nagpatawas din ako, sabi na-engkanto daw ako... ayoko ng ikwento dito, baka sabihin ni maricel spoiler ako ng movie nilang "T2", baka makasuhan pako :))... anyways, bibihira lang din naman ang nagaganon, i mean naeengkanto... kahit ako di naniniwala, eh pero sabi daw nung nagtatawas... hay ambot! :))) dati naman akong dinadala sa ganun, takot na takot pako dahil baka hindi lang yun ang malaman sakin XD marami pa naman akong secrets... buti na lang di ako nabasahan wahahahahahhahaha...

hay, yoko magtrabaho... gusto ko lang magbakasyon.......
:)))) tamaaaad

:)) meron nakong bagong expecimen blog, pero hindi na dito nakahost sa rblog... ginawa ko yun kasi para makapagpost ako ng mga post :)) entry na hindi pwedeng mabasa ng mga kakilala ko, so, ibig sabihin iniba ko rin ang username ko at kung anu anupang meron akong bakas XD hindi ko naman iiwan ang blog ko dito, magpopost parin ako ng mga nangyayari sa buhay ko... pero hindi yung mga expilicit.. joke! may ganun?

ayun, meron nakong naapplyang ttrabahuin sa summer XD pero hindi ko alam kung anung gagawin ko dun, basta sabi application developer.. :)) kung anuman yun, di ko alam, basta maganda syang pakinggan, ok na un XD

hayyy... ang init, grabe.. kahit itutok ko pa lahat ng electric fan namin ganun pa din, mas okay na kumain ng halo halo para mabawasan ang init,tapos tumambay sa labas para naman mahanginan kahit papano :))) inet!

Summer na nga, grabe sya magparamdam...

wala lang, sa tuwing bubuksan ko ang mga mata ko sa umaga, kukunin ang cellphone para magbasa ng text messages, magrereply, babangon, bubuksan laptop, mag-iinternet... kakain ng almusal or tanghalian, mag-iinternet.. kakain ng hapunan, mag-iinternet, matutulog...sana wag maging ganito ang routine sa bakasyon... -.- alam ko namang hindi kasi nga may ojt na... okay din yun, para hindi ako mabored sa bahay...

Ang buhay ko parang naka for-loop, same conditions, nag-iiterate nga pagkatapos nun babalik ulit sa zero (0) hayyy... buti na lang nanuod ako ng mmk kagabi, wala lang :))) nakakarelate ako eh pwahaha... anyways, san kaya ako makakahanap ng break point? puro na lang continue; ang lungkot eh.

Teka anu bang ginagawa ko pag-OL ako?

check ng emails
sa ngayon meron na lamang akong 4 active emails, wow achievement yun :)) dati kasi 10, eh nagffluctuate ang memory ko sa mga passwords, at sa kasamaang palad meron pang natirang 4 na passwords para sa email... Okay naman makareceive ng mga fw emails, pero hindi masaya makareceive ng mga SPAMs at kung anu anupang porn :)))

check ang online accounts
facebook, friendster, multiply at plurk.
oha oha, pinaka active jan plurk :))) eh kasi pwedeng mini blog. ang friendster na hindi na active, pero buhay parin, marmaing spam... mutiply na hindi updated pero updated yung ibang friends kaya nakikiview na lang :))) at facebook, kung saan merong entertainment... hahaha bias...

blog?
oo eto nagblog nako... binabasa ko ang mga blog nina: chicogarcia, rblogggers (di lang halata), badoodles, batanggero at yung kay inday na minsan eh wala naring update...

porn
joke! youtube/porn LOL XD manuod ng mga kung anu ano kapag sobrang bored nako....

DL
ng kung anu ano...

grabe ang boring ng buhay ko...

Nagiging enthusiastic na lang ako pagkausap ko sya :) haha!
Teka, mag-aaral na nga ako, kasi may test pako bukas...
bye!

Minsan, oo minsan, madalas pala... Sa dami ng pagkatao ko hindi ko alam kung anu sa kanila ang suot ko, minsan sabay sabay? why not? Hindi naman mababago nun kahit anung parte ng katawan ko eh, pagtingin lang ng tao... Ikaw? ilan ba pagkatao mo? Minsan ba naisip mo na kahit ayaw mong masaktan, biglang alam mo na kaya mo pala... Alam mo yun? gulo no? Actually hindi naman talaga pagkatao yun eh... Kundi kung pano mo nakukumbinsi ang sarili mo sa mga bagay bagay, para kang sales person... sa sarili mo.

Ang pinakamahirap mong kukumbinsihin ay ang utak mo.
Para kang nasa mob city, isa kang mobster na kukumbinsihin ang big boss para gawing teritoryo ang isang lugar... at oo syempre magiging sayo yun (parang ganun)... Parang minsan, kapag nag-iisip ka... Kelangan mo pang kumbinsihin ang sarili mong masaya ka, kahit ang buong katotohanan ay hindi, lugi ka, kahit nakumbinsi mo ang sarili mong masaya ka, malungkot ka pa din. Diba? Kahit ang mga kaibigan mong nakangiti sa harapan mo ay hindi tunay na masaya, pero dahil matagal mo ng nakikitang ganun sya, maiisip mo narin sigurong masaya nga sya... Okay, balik tayo sa magulong utak ko... Masyado kasing mahirap kausapin ang utak ko lalo na kung hindi na utak ko ang "boss" ng katawan ko... Sa hindi malamang kadahilanan, gusto kong maidlip bago gumawa ng assignments, nag-alarm pako, inuutusan kong matulog ang katawan ko, pero ang utak ko, nagpi-PSP sa kawalan. -.- Bigo akong makakuha ng tulog.

Kahit san pwede mong itanong kung bakit kailangan mong kumbinsihin ang sarili mo sa mga bagay bagay, kagaya na lang ng "Hindi ko talaga sya mahal", "Hindi ko talaga sya minahal" pero ang totoo ay ang mga kasalungat nito. Bakit?

Bakit mo pa kailangan kumbinsihin ang sarili mo?
Siguro minsan, ang nagpapadali ng mga dahilang kukumbinsi sayo, ay galit, poot, at kung anu anu pang mga bagay na hindi mo inaasahang yayakap sa utak mo. Kaya mahirap ang maraming nalalaman. Diba?

hay orange.

The Top Ten Signs That You Are Truly Happy Or Truly Sad - Nathalie

1. Datgurl - You’re truly sad if you’re disappointed every time you wake up, because you’re reminded that you’re still alive.
2. No name - You’re truly happy if you literally cannot ask for anything more, even if you tried.
3. No name - You’re truly sad if you think that having so many designer bags is the measure of happiness, so you keep buying a lot.
4. Gorgeous Bitch - You’re truly sad if you actually believe that you were destined to be miserable.
5. Aubrey_04 - You’re truly sad if, every time you see a cliff, your first impulse is to jump.
6. Leyann 94 - You’re truly sad, when your dream of being a real life Cinderella by marrying who you thought was a real life prince, ended in a bitter annulment.
7. Choi - You’re truly sad if, you’re on top of a building, deciding whether to jump or not, and when you ask for a sign to help you decide, you see a huge Nike billboard saying, “Just Do It.”
8. Jarvis - You’re truly happy if you choose to see what you have, rather that looking for things that are not there.
9. Slither Dude - You’re truly sad if the closest you’ll ever be to experiencing the joys of being a parent is holding another person’s child.
10. Morenang Kaligatan - You’re truly sad if the only person who can make you happy, is the same one who hurts you over and over again.
11. Tani - You’re truly happy if you wake up feeling happy without even knowing WHY.
12. Geyp - You’re truly happy if you’re alone yet you dont feel lonely or incomplete.
13. Lea - You’re truly sad if you burst out crying while listening to “Dancing Queen”.
14. Brendz - You’re truly happy if you know how to forgive.
15. Astroboy - You’re truly sad kapag ang theme song mo ay, “Makulay ang buhay, sa sumakabilang buhay…”
16. Kabodskie - You’re truly sad if friends call you when they’re depressed for comfort, yet in the course of the conversation, they end up consoling you instead.
17. Alexius - You’re truly sad if your house is no longer a home.
18. Aaron - You’re truly sad if there’s a bitter aftertaste in your mouth after you laugh.
19. Raymond - You’re truly happy if you’re perfectly content with the simply joys of life, like family, and more material possessions don’t add to this joy one bit.
20. TReiz - You’re truly sad if even if you’re smiling, your eyes are dead.
21. Frederique - You’re truly sad if you get a layered bob haircut dyed jet black, the shape and color of my poor heart!
22. No name - You’re truly happy if you heart and mind agree.
23. Mr. Perk - You’re truly happy if you see happiness in others, it makes you puke and all you want is to ruin it for them.
24. Mr. Perk - You’re truly happy if your joy is
    contagious. Just being around you makes other people happy
25. Gorgeous Bitch - You’re truly sad if, every time people ask you, “Are you okay?”, your standard sarcastic answer is, “Sa tingin mo, mukha ba kong okay?”
26. Windsurfer - You’re truly happy if feeling mo, anytime, pwede ka nang kunin ni Lord.  
27. Katness - You’re truly sad if you have everything, yet you feel like you have nothing.

Bagong song ng Silent Sanctuary... Nothing in particular pero wala lang, naisipan ko lang bumisita sa website nila at yan ang bumungad sakin na kanta... kung gusto niyo rin marinig eto ang site: http://silentsanctuary.com/ (Actually matagal ko ng pinapakinggan yan, share ko lang :P)

So anu nga bang bago? Wahaha. Napakabroad. XD Madalas ang pag-ulan, I mean tagulan parin -.- Ayoko pag maulan,.. bukod sa nababasa ako, kelangan ko pang buksan ang payong ko, kelangan maingat ang paglakad -.- nakakatamad pang kumilos. Anyways... Ang mga nakaraang araw ko, nakakapagod, masaya, nakakainis, nakakapanibago. Family issues are on standby.

Okay, at dahil nga taglamig ang panahon ngayon, magiging komportable ka kung meron kang kayakap, na magpapainit sayo (I mean, magbibigay init. XD). Maiba muna tayo. Dahil 2009 na... sa di ko malamang kadahilanan ay naisipan kong magsearch ng forecast para sa zodiac kong gemini... syempre madami akong nabasa, iba iba... Naisip ko schizophrenic ata yung mga nagsusulat ng kapalaran ko, este yung forecast ko... XD ang gulo eh, pero okay lang as long as nagshare sila saken... Actually okay naman ang mga nababasa ko, at hindi nagsisinungaling ang mga ito tungkol sa pagiging tamad ko, wow. Well, forecast, may point ka dyan. Sa simula ng taon wala man lang akong naestablish na bagong goals ngayong taon, hmmm bukod sa hindi nako magcucut ng klase wala pa akong bagong resolusyon or wateber/witchever goals... Hmmm... Okay lang, marami pa naman akong goals mula pa noong 2008 na hindi naachieve, I'll try to get to somewhere this year XD

-.- at bago matapos ang entry nato, hindi ako makakapapayag na hindi mag-rant! XD
joke! Hmmm... Sa sobrang saya ng mga araw kong nagdaan... Ako'y nanganganib para sa kapalit na araw ng kalungkutan/kahirapan at kung anumang negative effects... Hindi ko alam pero pag sobrang saya ko alam kong may kapalit yun... naniniwala ba kayo sa ganun? Wala lang... Baka schizophrenic narin ako tulad ng mga nagppredict or nagfoforecast ng kapalaran.. tsk tsk tsk... anu namang ippredict ko? syntax? XD Ewan. So far, ang kaya ko lang gawin ay mangharass ng mga palad ng mga tao. Oo marunong akong magbasa ng palad, dahil dati akong manghuhula sa quiapo! **evil laugh** ayan, alam niyo na... XD Natutunan kong magbasa ng kapalaran sa palad sa pagbabasa ng downloaded na ebook oh diba? kapanipaniwala XD (oo nga pala, wala akong evil laugh, try hard lang yan... XD).

Hay nako. Sana ganito ako araw araw... Feel ko mas marami akong energy kapag: Umaga pa lang eh aalis ng bahay para makipagkita kay panda, kakain, papasok sa skul (para mag aral: makunsumi sa mga prop, mainis sa mga gawain at mautusan sa mga gawaing di maintindihan XD), uuwi ng bahay, internet. Waw, looping statement ko yan for this week XD. At dahil walang pryers ang buhay ko ngayon, sa ngayon... Alam ko namang di ako matitiis ng mga magulang ko ng ganito... XD As long as they want it this way, I'll take it away! XD ieenjoy ko malamang! bwahahahahahahaha!!!... <- trying hard evil laugh XD

Anyways... Hanggang dito nalang... Nabobored ka siguro kaya ka andito.. XD uyyy...

I'm not sure if I should write this, but I will anyway.

It rarely happens when I consider my feelings, I mean when I'm sad. Because I think people will never deal with you when you're sad, so maybe I think it will be better if you just pretend you're light and probably disregard your feelings. Blue, violet, red. That's the color of my life, as of now.

I'm a teenager, so probably my problems are dealing with people who guides me, my parents. I'm close to my mom,  a very wonderful woman, and yeah she's the fulcrum of my existence. I open up my feelings to her just like a friend, we're friends, that's what about I like about her, and because I love her, we do this as much as we like. It's like I'm married to my mom. I understand that in some other space time, I'll be owning my life, because that's how its gonna be. But mom, I think she don't. And suddenly, She's insisting that the day I met that someone, I changed. Yeah, I know, that's me, change. I change a lot. The old me that doesn't talk that much when she's mad is now giving opinions, sadly it appears that I posed a bad image doing it. The old me that used to listened to her pain and rants have actually has the same problems arising, personal problems, and can't really focus to what she's saying, mad her madly jealous. And now, she turned tables like I was the enemy, and every time we talk, we end up arguing, of who's going to be understand and who's suppose to understand. She always listen, but she don't want to understand, I think there is no point arguing everyday about the same issues, my issues. Its killing me, my inside, me. I was never about the drama, but seriously I care a lot about her, she's my inspiration, she taught me well, I will never be here if not because of her. I always tried, to explain in every way that she will understand me, she said she UNDERSTAND, but I never felt it in anyway, I mean yes, she has been very considerate about me. Everytime we had this talk, with the point of understanding our situation, it ends up me listening to her, because that's all I could do. It ends up that she really wants me to understand her, everything about her. Her pain, and her whole life was about tragic. We talk like aliens. Because we tried to understand. But I think that when her point gets to the conspiracy of God, it all goes down. She's getting old. Old people are always close to God. She the kind of mother/woman who goes to church every sunday, she said that it was every catholics responsibility, I mean, I'm not against God or anything, But The definition of your religion doesn't give the heck if you live or die for the manifestations of your sunday mass attendance. I guess we're far different now. I've molded my own philosophies, and she has hers, and I think that's the main reason why we're like this now. We're cold like the season. Her words that strucked me, those painful words, I'll keep it. But I promise that I'll never bear grudge to her, because she's just doing what she think is right for me.

The reason we're clashing is because I don't like her words for that someone, she doesn't have the right to talk to people like that. Any son of God have no rights of judging people behind their backs, because that's what she said she was. I'm not making any or saying any thing that would make her mad or sad, but everytime she say something bad about that someone, accusing that someone, that's the time we clash, same cycle. I can still think, clearly. If I'm doing something that's gonna harm me, I have thought of it a thousand times beforehand. I don't want to blame someone or anyone. It's my decision. And I'm making a stand for it. It's my life I'm making anyway.

Sometimes, I don't really know, if I've gone overboard or something. But this is the first time in my life that I think I am. And I don't know what to say to her, because I'm tired explaining. Sometimes, I think I'm so insensitive that I'm hurting people without me knowing it. Or is it just me? Because for the first time, I'm tired of making her happy. I'm just wishful for trying, it didn't make her one. Suddenly, all my enthusiasm has been dripping, and words are running out of me, of how I really want her to understand me. And now I'm being selfish. I think I need someone to talk to, really.