Blog.

I’m tired. I’m tired because I was devastated.

The life before I had was just full of bliss that lest known I’d be feeling things that suddenly squeezed the zest of which I have been slacking on every day, ‘twas to live, life. I can feel that I’m fading into something I was not expecting it to be. I just felt it. I don’t want to face the feeling, because on the first place it was not as what I wanted. But I can’t even find what song would speak this shit.

I think people get tired of something but it’s not because they suddenly realize that it was not what they really wanted, but they have been devastated. Weary. I’d found no reasons to be tired but then, I did. I was thinking hard. But it’s like forcing the heart to integrate or differentiate like my mind used to in analyzing mathematical problems, it was rather not, really not the same thing. I was not attaining any pattern or any simplified explanations. In fact, I’m confused. If I would have to infinity as my answer, I’d be not satisfied. So as to returned into zero. I feel like I’m not ready or something that I want to regain what something that I lost. Or did I?

I was not blogging for the past few days because I was getting more devastated (word of the day) of myself.

I’d listen to the songs I used to hear whenever I’m feeling weary. But the songs can’t suffice what I wanted to feel. I want to feel better, or I don’t know. Everyday I’d reminisce what I was before, I was so joyful, I was happy, even if I’m having a bad day, or even a very bad one. I was very positive in a way that nobody can take any of it from me. I’d likely to share it to people who are very dear to me. But then again, I was devastated. I’d come to a realization that I was not getting any happier. I can’t find the reasons why. Suddenly I don’t feel any positive glimpse of yesterday.

Before, I was really happy. But now, I find it hard to convince that I am.

(Last day ng Ojt)