“Paboritong itlog, paboritong noodles..pinagsama ngayon..” Nagriring ang selpon ko! Habang nasa job interview ako, nagpanik ako at di ko tinignan kung sino ang tumatawag at bigla ko na lang pinatay. “maybe that’s how I’ll remember you..” sabi ng interviewer sabay tawa…haaay buti na lang mabait sya. Pero hindi ko matandaan kung anu yung sasabihin ko, bigla akong nawala sa wisyoat iba iba na ang napatunguhan ng sinasabi ko..pero oo lang ng oo ang interviewer, siguro nagkaintindihan kami, na parehas kaming hindi nagkakaintindihan hahaha!

Hi blog! I’m back! At oo sa word ko nanaman ginagawa itong sinusulat ko, kasi napuputol ang connection namin ng internet kaya kung gusto ko ng safe dito nako sa word lols. Di ako makamove on dun sa interview nay un, dahil na brainfreeze ako sa sobrang lamig ng kwarto na pinag-isteyan namin. TInatanong ako kung paano daw ako naglalabas ng stress. Ahm. Sunod na tanong kung may isports daw ako. Gusto ko sanang sabihing chess baka sabihin ni ate pageek lols eh wala naman talaga akong fitness game interaction sa buhay ko for at least past three years. Halos lahat computer related. Kung gusto ko maglabas ng stress merong O2mania, smash keyboard (facebook) at mahabang makabasag tengang soundtrip. At syempre, blog :)) sige na nga blog kasama ka na hahaha

Bakit ganun? Yung mga inaabangan kong tanong hindi tinatanong sakin. Tulad ng; Bakit may butas ang donut? Paano mo sasabihin sa bulag na asul ang ulap? Paano mo sasabihin sa bulag na nakalimutan nyang magpantalon ng hindi mo sya mao-offend? Yang mga ganyan…kayo ba natanong na ng ganyan? Ako kasi hindi pa, pero naiinggit ako kung natanong na sayo yan. Anung isinagot mo? Ang mga tanong kasi na ibinabato sakin ay situational din, pero syempre related sa field ko. Tulad ng; Anung gagawin mo kung may nakita kang dapat baguhin sa program at sinabi ng boss mo na wala kang dapat baguhin? Anung gagawin mo kung kailangan ng ipasa ang document pero hindi pa napapolish ang program at sabi ng boss mo na pwede na yan? Yung mga yan boring na question eh. Boring times 2 times 2 times 2.

Pagkatapos ng unang interview, may part two agad. Naninigas na ako, sobrang lamig! Wala akong sweater or jacket na dala. Mali ang anticipation ko na hindi ko kakailanganin ng kahit anu sa mga yun. Maling mali. Parehas lang sila ng tanong. Para akong sirang plaka, paulit-ulit, habang nakangiti, ang effort ko lang. Sabi kasi ng prof ko muka daw akong masungit, kaya ayun, smile! :)) Nanginginig na ang bibig ko kakasalita sa sobrang lamig napansin na nyang nagffluctuate halos lahat ng sinasabi ko kaya binilisan na nya ang interview. Whew. Sa wakas, natapos din… They’ll call me for final interview.

All is well. Hay blag.

Sige na goodnyt…byieeee!!

Blog.

I’m tired. I’m tired because I was devastated.

The life before I had was just full of bliss that lest known I’d be feeling things that suddenly squeezed the zest of which I have been slacking on every day, ‘twas to live, life. I can feel that I’m fading into something I was not expecting it to be. I just felt it. I don’t want to face the feeling, because on the first place it was not as what I wanted. But I can’t even find what song would speak this shit.

I think people get tired of something but it’s not because they suddenly realize that it was not what they really wanted, but they have been devastated. Weary. I’d found no reasons to be tired but then, I did. I was thinking hard. But it’s like forcing the heart to integrate or differentiate like my mind used to in analyzing mathematical problems, it was rather not, really not the same thing. I was not attaining any pattern or any simplified explanations. In fact, I’m confused. If I would have to infinity as my answer, I’d be not satisfied. So as to returned into zero. I feel like I’m not ready or something that I want to regain what something that I lost. Or did I?

I was not blogging for the past few days because I was getting more devastated (word of the day) of myself.

I’d listen to the songs I used to hear whenever I’m feeling weary. But the songs can’t suffice what I wanted to feel. I want to feel better, or I don’t know. Everyday I’d reminisce what I was before, I was so joyful, I was happy, even if I’m having a bad day, or even a very bad one. I was very positive in a way that nobody can take any of it from me. I’d likely to share it to people who are very dear to me. But then again, I was devastated. I’d come to a realization that I was not getting any happier. I can’t find the reasons why. Suddenly I don’t feel any positive glimpse of yesterday.

Before, I was really happy. But now, I find it hard to convince that I am.

(Last day ng Ojt)