DREDGING UP THE PAST.
Here is a post I found in Facebook. This was written by someone named Amanda Stevenson. i don't know this person but I think her post answered what I previously wrote about a "past" which was left hanging without closure. Here it goes.
Dredging Up the Past
Okay, so my thought process lately seems to be as such:
Is it worth it to bring up the past? To dig up what has been buried?
Although I think there are different answers based on varying situations, my thinking is NO.
There are always some things in our pasts that we wish we could change. We may not regret it, but we often have something (or someone) that we did wrong, and want to say something about it.
Maybe it's a thought at the back of your head, or perhaps just a recurring dream.
In any case, I honestly don't think it's worth it to dredge up that bit of your life, just for a chance at (more) closure. Life is something that is constantly changing, and we change along with it. Without meaning to, we close the doors to our past constantly in our quest to open another door to our future. In fact, we don't only close it, but deadbolt it and swallow the key as well.
There's a reason we do this: although it was a part of our life, that part of our life is over now. We don't want to deal with it anymore, because it IS in our past, and we only want to focus on what's ahead of us.
They say those that don't study history are doomed to repeat it.
But those that look backward are bound to miss something while moving forward, as well.
And that's the whole point of life. To keep moving forward, until we meet the end of it. We all have pasts, but that's just it...it's supposed to be behind us. We never truly forget the things that happen to us; however, we do accept that there's nothing we can do to change it. Instead, we change ourselves and thus our futures so that it doesn't become like our pasts (or else so that it does).
I'm not saying just for the bad things, either, but the good things as well. We've all had the experience of re-watching a movie (or reading a book) that we loved in our childhood, only to find out that it is not what you remembered it to be. Our memories are often shaped based on circumstances, and reshaped based on feelings. You could remember loving the taste of your grandma's spaghetti and dig up the recipe...only to remake it and know that it's not as good as you remember it. Memories are great things to have, but a lot of that is because we can shape them how we see fit over the course of time. If we bring the actual thought/event/person/thing
Bringing something forward that should be left alone only makes for regrets.
And I don't know about you guys, but I've tried very hard my entire life not to have regrets.
I'm not going to start now.
Now, I may sound like a cynic for all of this.
Even reading it back, I know that it's not the most optimistic of themes.
Yes, I do believe that there are some things from our past that, when dredged up, actually prove to better our lives.
Or live up to the memories we have of it.
Or even help us toward our future, holding open doors that we perhaps couldn't have held on our own.
But I do believe that our present and future selves are what matter.
Our past selves are what made us who we are.
Our present selves are what we are now.
Our future selves are what the past and present selves are working to be.
Hah, a lot of this probably doesn't make sense.
But I guess that it's in the past now :P
Is it worth it to bring up the past? To dig up what has been buried?
Although I think there are different answers based on varying situations, my thinking is NO.
There are always some things in our pasts that we wish we could change. We may not regret it, but we often have something (or someone) that we did wrong, and want to say something about it.
Maybe it's a thought at the back of your head, or perhaps just a recurring dream.
In any case, I honestly don't think it's worth it to dredge up that bit of your life, just for a chance at (more) closure. Life is something that is constantly changing, and we change along with it. Without meaning to, we close the doors to our past constantly in our quest to open another door to our future. In fact, we don't only close it, but deadbolt it and swallow the key as well.
There's a reason we do this: although it was a part of our life, that part of our life is over now. We don't want to deal with it anymore, because it IS in our past, and we only want to focus on what's ahead of us.
They say those that don't study history are doomed to repeat it.
But those that look backward are bound to miss something while moving forward, as well.
And that's the whole point of life. To keep moving forward, until we meet the end of it. We all have pasts, but that's just it...it's supposed to be behind us. We never truly forget the things that happen to us; however, we do accept that there's nothing we can do to change it. Instead, we change ourselves and thus our futures so that it doesn't become like our pasts (or else so that it does).
I'm not saying just for the bad things, either, but the good things as well. We've all had the experience of re-watching a movie (or reading a book) that we loved in our childhood, only to find out that it is not what you remembered it to be. Our memories are often shaped based on circumstances, and reshaped based on feelings. You could remember loving the taste of your grandma's spaghetti and dig up the recipe...only to remake it and know that it's not as good as you remember it. Memories are great things to have, but a lot of that is because we can shape them how we see fit over the course of time. If we bring the actual thought/event/person/thing
Bringing something forward that should be left alone only makes for regrets.
And I don't know about you guys, but I've tried very hard my entire life not to have regrets.
I'm not going to start now.
Now, I may sound like a cynic for all of this.
Even reading it back, I know that it's not the most optimistic of themes.
Yes, I do believe that there are some things from our past that, when dredged up, actually prove to better our lives.
Or live up to the memories we have of it.
Or even help us toward our future, holding open doors that we perhaps couldn't have held on our own.
But I do believe that our present and future selves are what matter.
Our past selves are what made us who we are.
Our present selves are what we are now.
Our future selves are what the past and present selves are working to be.
Hah, a lot of this probably doesn't make sense.
But I guess that it's in the past now :P
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"We never truly forget the things that happen to us; however, we do accept that there's nothing we can do to change it. Instead, we change ourselves and thus our futures so that it doesn't become like our pasts (or else so that it does). "
I love that bit =) thanks for this misce, good read.
trix
I love that bit =) thanks for this misce, good read.
trix
Posted by Anonymous at 1:51 PM,
10.27.2009 | Link |
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