in this life, the delusional people are the ones who are too "sane" to live and be with the real "insane" people. these delusional inidividuals are the ones who are being kept out of the limelight just because they're the ones who stand out from a crowd, those ones who are nothing but a threat to these "lunatics".i am not a lunatic nor insane. i am just a merely delusional person. and this is my story.
im currently here sa loob ng pc shop, wasting my time over something. well, sira po ang pc namin kaya: hindi ako makapagcharge ng sun phone ko kasi sira ang charger nya. so i guess i wont be bale to use my sun for quite a while
2, archi week
guys!! after ng up fair week na namin!! super saya neto kasi ONE week kaming totally no classes.. we can do whatever we want and all that!! grabe araw2 masaya for sure sana maging okay lahat this day..:D (gurl do text me sa globe. imy/.. kitakits tlga)
btw well be having a float parade. kami yung s amoulin rouge. sana manalo kami.. *cross fingers*
3. up fair
ayun. tutugtog si dexter at yung banda nya. pakisuprtahan ang kanilang banda, blueboybitesback..:D
di ko pa nga alam kelan pa kami poupunta dun, gusto ni dex kjwan at bamboo eh, ako wala namanyung trip ko tlga na tutugtog eh.. sheesh, i miss the old rock scene.
so ayun. kitakits na lang. konti na lang oras ko eh.. imy all!!
Siguro nag ataka ka kung bakit ako magsusulat dito e wala naman diba me nakalimutan kasi tayong gawin ang ikuwento ang ating love story...:)
june na pasukan na ni na karla ito ang mag aral na hinahatid ko siya sa bahay di pa kame nito grabe as in 1 na akong ng umaga umuuwi isang gabi nga pag uwi ko me nagsabi sakin " oh san ka galing grabe kang manligaw ha talagang araw araw ha" sabi ko naman e walang magagawa mahal na mahal ko na yung babaeng to sobra pa sa sarili ko " ikako nga madaming nangyari samen sa buong june me tawanan iyakan at ang araw na di malilimutan..:)
june 19,2008 na kakabaliw na araw nung hinatid ko siya nag punta kame sa me moa tapos kulitan pero iba ang pakiramdam ko ng araw na to kasi parang me magbabago .me nagbago nga nung naglalakad na kame pa moa e ganito sinabi niya sakin sa sobrang pangungulit ko " sasagutin na sana kita ngayon kaso sinira mo moment ko" grabe kala niya nr lang ako pero di niya alam halos matunaw na ang puso ko sa mga katagang sinabi niya tapos nung ang favorite shed na kami ( lang lagyan ko na ng name yung shed ha) sa may moa bigla niya me niyakap yon ang first time na siniksik niya ang kanyang muka sa aking leeg grabe talagang naiyak ako nun araw na yun di lang niya alam...:
june 20,2008 DI MALILIMUTAN NA ARAW...:)
sow eto na kame nagkita kame ng tangahali tapos naghiwalay ulit kasi papasok na siya sa uste ako naman pupunta na ako sa best ko na taga tondo.. sow gabi na 8 ang uwian niya sa pagkakatanda ko tapos badtrip siya ako nung papunta na akong uste taena inabot ako nang malas shit nung asa may sm san lazaro na me tangina walang jeep papuntang uste me dumating naghintay pa ng pasahero shit asar na asar ako kasi uwian na niya at deadbatt pa siya nun taena halos murahin ko na yung driver kasi ang bagal bagal niya. umaandar na yung jeep tangina lumiko palayo sa uste tangina bumaba ako grabe nagmamadali ako kasi 30mins na siya naghihintay doon sow nilakad ko mula ospital papuntang front gate pag dating ko doon sobrang badtrip ako nahihiya ako sa kanya kasi late ako umupo ako sa me shed ng uste tapos nagmukmuk tapos me sinulat siya sa braso ko sabi niya wag ko daw titingnan taena nung tiningnan ko nakasulat "ILOVE U WAG KANA BADTRIP" shit parang nagunaw ang mundo ko sa sinulat niya di ko maintindihan ang nararamdaman ko shit eto na ang araw na yun at dito sa araw na to ang simulang maging kami na...
KARLA PATAWAD SA MGA PAGKUKULANG KO AT MGA SAKIT NA NAIDULOT KO SAYO MAHAL NA MAHAL KITA HIGIT PA SA SARILI KO SALAMAT AT DUMATING KASA BUHAY KO MAHALKITA....
well this is quite freaky but it's rally true. im not kidding [of course.] anyway my whole family has this paranormal side.
my sister used to dream of digits, which of course we usually use when we use our luck to bet in the daily lotto. the problem there is that my sister always forgets some numbers in her dream. well, atleast we win even if its only 500php. my sister also has this premonition that when she moans in her sleep, there will be an impending problem that will happen to our family, or sometimes in our house. my mom and dad sees "dead" people. im sure that not all of you believes in that so i'll just skip that topic.
but for me, i dont think if i would be happy for this gift that i got. i had this different "gift" ever since i was young. whenever i have a dream of my teeth / tooth being knocked out, there's always someone on the way to his /her own death after. i sometimes have a dream as well of my "dead" loved ones talking to me. i remembered the time when i was kid and my lolo[my dad's mom] died, i had a dream that my lolo was asking me to go with hm somewhere. i was about to take his hand when i suddenly woke up. i just realized now that im old enough to undestand that there's a superstition that when a dead person in your dream asks you to come with him /her and you took his /her hand, it is believed that you'll never wake up afterwards.
anyway, lastly i had this weird dream. first is that my mother has a set of small snakes which she kept as her pets [madami sila parang yung sa ulo ni medusa]. however somebody bought a bigger snake tapos kinain nya lahat ng pets ni mama na snakes..ang kulit nga sa dream ko kasi the bigger snake was a bright green snake atpos after nya kainin yung pets ni mama, muka syang nasa illustration ng boa constrictor sa little prince [by saint -exupery] ang weird kasi my mother hates snakes pero in fairness, ang kyut nung big snake kasi ang bright ng kulay ng balat nya.:D
my next dream becomes weirder. i had a dream about my teeth. in my dream, i ate something and i had a severe toothache. a dentist poofed out form the scene and said that some of my teeth must be extracted.
i woke up at about 8 in the morning and discussed the dream with my parents. by 9:47am, my dad received a call that his niece died. she was only 28. after that, my tita got a call din from spain. her brother -in-law / my uncle's brother died. ayun. 2 down.. more to go.
so ingat ingat na lang po tayo lalo na yung mga maysakit. the first person died due to unknown reasons but my dad said that she always skips any meal of the day. the other one, si tito died because of drowning himself with lots of alcohol.
dahil new year na, nakagawian na nating gumawa ng new year's resolution na atin namang hindi nagagawa parati. dahil wala akong maisip na isulat, nais ko na lang ipaalam sa aking blog ang aking "new year's resolution" tapos pag apos na ang taon, babalikan ko ang blog na ito para malaman ko kung ano ang mga pnagako ko sa aking sarili na napako. sa ngayon, 5 muna. dadagdagan ko na lang pag okay na...
MY NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION
FOR YEAR 2009
1. MAGSESERYOSO NA AKO SA AKING PAGAARAL.
napansin ko kasi last semester na super gulo ko. yung mga plates na nagagawa ko eh dko trip at minadali na. kailangan ko magsipag sa aking pag-aaral lalo ngayon na super higpit ng mga profs ko at andami ko na ngayong malapit na ma-fa na mga subjects. the good thing ther eis hindi pa naman ako bumabagsak sa mga quizzes or esquisses. siguro yung problem ko dito is tinatamad na ako sa super daming ginagawa at up to the point na tinatambakan ka na at parati ka pagod. ayoko magkaroon ng summer class huhu at mas lalong ayoko na maurong ng isang taon sa paggraduate..promise, i'll do better sa academics ko - i'll lift up my pirits para hindi na ako tamarin.:D
2. MAGTITIPID NA AkO.
lagi na lang akong kapos lately mula nung nagsimula ang aking second semester last year. at ngayon, gusto ko magtipid para sa mga bagay- bagay na gusto kong bilhin mula sa mga pagkain na trip ko parati like cheesecakes and all. i swear, i haven't eaten any kind of sweets na binili ko sa labas dahil wala ako laging pera. i remember before, i was able to load my three simcards, buy lots of goodies whenever i want to, manlibre ng kung sino pag trip lang, at kahit magpautang kahit kanino pag may nangangailangan. i can even save up for my summer and for my other stuffs eh. pero ngayon wala na.
i sometimes wonder what's the problem with me. i'll just simply sigh out of regret.
basta, i gotta save up for my summer. ilang buwan din yun, kailangan may panload at pang-alis ako nun.:D
3. HINDING -HINDI NA AKO KAKAIN SA KUNG SAAN -SAAN.
ako kasi gutumin as always and i eat anywhere na may pagkain. basta pagkain at tingin ko na okay naman ichura, go agad ako.kaso nga di ba, dont judge a book by its cover. kahit anong turo -turo yan may bahid pa rin yan ng dumi.
when i was in high school, lagi akong nadadala sa ospital due to typhoid fever, yung tubig daw na naiinom ko usually, pati yung tubig sa mga kinakain ko ay madumi so kahit na niluto yun, hindi pa rin kaya ng tiyan ko kahit gaano ako katakaw. i swore myself after i was first released sa hospital. the next year, i was hospitalized again with the same complication. grabe, ganon katigas ulo ko and i was always having my sembreak or summer break sa hospital every year.
pagtungtong ko sa college, sa kabutihang-palad e hindi na ako na-ospital with the same complication. thank God talaga kundi baka ma -fa ako neto sa mga 2 - day absence pass sa major subjects ko. hoho.:D
lately, napapadami na naman kain ko at dahil wala ako laging pera, sa may turo -turo na lang lagi kinakainan namin. eh may favorite kaming kainan na pares at lugawan kapag gabi [sarap kaya super. tapos andaming taba. yum. kakagutom..:D]tapos last wednesday night kumain kami dun ng pares. ako super dami ng kinain ko, tapos si dada eh masakit tyan kasi sinisikmura ata kaya pinakain ko nang madami. after nun, we bought medicine for his tummy, tapos sumakit na tyan ko din. ewan ko ba, pagkauwi ko ng bahay sumakit tlga tyan ko so kumain ako uli ng dinner sa ouse namin uli kasi baka kako gutom ako. tapos nun tinulog ko nung dko pa rin matanggal yung sakit ng tyan ko. pagkagising ko na madaling araw, todo suka na inabot ko. hindi naman ako nagsuka dahil sa sobrang kinain kasi naman matakaw talaga ako [pero hindi ako under sa gluttony ha. dko naman pinipilit kumain kahit busog na ako eh. sadyang mabilis lang ako magutom.]. tapos, nung thursday pumasok ako. after namin magheart -to-heart ni dad, we bought rice -in -a -box [which happens to be my brunch kahit past 3pm na nun.]4pm may klase ako so pumasok ako after nun. the problem there is, nagsuka uli ako after a couple of hours. ayun. that night, kumain uli kami ni dada dun sa kainan na pares pero konti lang kinain ko kasi masakit talaga tyan ko pa rin nun. pagkauwi ko, kumain uli ako. after nun nagsuka uli ako ng nagsuka.
siguro, dapat hindi na muna ako kakain sa kainan na yun. pasaway talaga ako pagdating sa pagkain, i can't help it. weakness ko ang pagkain eh.:D well, basta di na muna ako kakain sa kung saan -saan.
4. ILL SERVE FOR THE GREATER GOOD.
aguy. ako talaga ito. ewan ko pero i want to revive the things that i've done nung high school ako. buti nabuhay sa dugo ko uli yun nung nag-pgh kami at nung nag -nstp kami.basta, sasali ako sa mga activities na rin para kahit papaano may purpose ako dito sa mundong ito at may katuturan din mga pinaggagawa ko.:D i want to have that feeling again na may natulungan ako kahit sa maliit na paraan. iniisip ko pa nga alng kung saan. kung gusto niyo tumulong din kahit once lang this summer or any time, pm nyo ako tapos hanap tayo ng paraan para may kasama din ako. besides, ang anumang bagay na mahirap gawin, pag nagtulong -tulong ay matatapos din. at, ang kahit anung bagay kahit anong hirap gawin basta may kasamang kaibigan ay magiging masaya pa rin gawin.[tama ba ako?hoho,.:D]
5. MAGPAPAKAAYOS NA AKO.:D
eto talaga every year new year's resolution ko parate kaso di talaga na tutupad. basta, gusto ko magmumuka akong maayos sa kahit sino kahit sino pa yun. batsa dapat mukha na akong presentable. magaayos na ako tulad ng dati-dati na dapat polished look ako parati. ewan ko ba, nakakahiya kasi ako parati tignan mukha akong binabagyo eh kahit anong oras pa yan. sa ngayong taon, inayos ko na yung buhok ko. straight na ang lola nyo. haha..:D hindi naman gaano tamang tama lang. hindi na ganun na laging na-silya elektrika parati yung buhok lalo pag mahangin. hoho..:D
THIS IS A MERE OBSERVATION BUT WHY CAN'T I SEE MY BLOG DUN SA MGA RECENT BLOGS ??
BAKIT GANUN HA?? IS THERE SOME KIND OF A CONSPIRACY HERE??
KAYA PALA WALANG KUMENTO AND ALL AND MY FRIEND WASN'T ABLE TO HEAR FROM MY BLOGS KASI WALA AKO SA RECENT BLOGS LISTS?? ME GALIT BA SAKIN ANG MOD DITO HA??
in this portion of my blog, let the silent scream of my inner self be heard. not because i wanted attention nor i wanted to let you know of this one.but because i wanted to free myself from carrying this heavy load since before. any comments will do if you want to, but i won't care about the future events that might happen after this one. i had nothing but too much of this burden that i brought.
as i was having the best time with my own reflections based on the things i did this afternoon, a certain idea entered my mind quickly and made me feel useless. for the nth time again. confusion has dropped a huge doubt on my mind that kept me from having a peace of mind, making me shattered most of the time like right now.
many people are envious of it. why so? they don't know the tears that we shed together or the shouts both of us had heard. they only see of us like a bunch of two little puppies playing with each other happily, steadily. but they don't understand all.
someone said that i shouldn't think too much. i can't blame myself. i love to think because i was born with the capacity to use fully. but sometimes, i think all too well on the negative side and i can't help but overanalyzed things. is it my fault? yes and no.
to be frank, my mind can't digest fully every single explanation that is being forcefully fed to it. i just don't know. maybe because of the intuition inside me is saying that every single action was a complete blur? and i was silent to it. slowly observing every single detail, and slowly grasping every truth that has been lain in the past.
everyone is not stupid enough to bear every single lie - even if it's a white lie it's nothing but pure lie. as what in the grey's anatomy had reiterated before, your loved ones know if you're lying to them. and no matter how hard you try to hide it from them, they know it and they're hurting even more. so why hide LOTS of it to them? why hide certain parts of yourself to a person who has shared with you her life and given it up everything - even her own pride and own rightful thinking- just to make you happy?
i sometimes sound like an insecure freak when i ask certain stuffs that irritates you very much. but, haven't you thought why i asked that one? i think most of the time if they felt before what i'm feeling right now - this uncertainty inside.yes, you sacrificed a lot in exchange of me but i didn't ask you to do that. you need not risk those sentimental things so dear for you but i want you to come to me as yourself and prove to me that it's really you.im not asking you to change your life and make me your world, i just want you to join me in your world. i want to see you, your friends and all. am i asking for too much?
would that be called selfishness?
you can't forget the past, my dear. every single scene today is the product of the past, may it be simple or very, very complicated. i remember all of it, from the faded promises like that of a leaf slowly drifting away from the riverbanks where it had fallen from. you can't separate every single detail because everything is connected to each other. no matter how different you are with what you are before, that's still you. you don't have to change just for one person. change because you anted to. change because you want to make your life better than before.
i know you have a set of your own problems but don't use it as an excuse for your new problems ahead of you because you're not facing your problems. you're just making your own set pf problems to climb up even more and EVERYBODY gets involve in that situation you'll be having when that time happens. every person has its own set of limitation and if you'll ever reach its top, chances are you might be left alone with nothing but your heaps and heaps of problem, if there are any. every person has its own problem. and if you have that idea that you'll be dead after, well every single person has that feeling as well so deal with it and as much as possible, try to help yourself without hurting others - it may not be physically but emotionally.
as what i've reiterated awhile ago, confusion has dropped a huge doubt on my mind that kept me from having my own peace of mind. yes i'm always silent but not like this one.i've tried myself on giving it all up - just for the sake of having a peace of mind- but i just simply can't. i'm hungry for the truth and i'm still in a search for it up to now.
i don't want to hurt you but i don't want to hurt myself as well. and the more i'm trying to stop all this delusional things, the more i'm becoming restless and hungry for it.
when you read this one, can we please switch places? just be silent and hold me tight. i'm not saying that you need to go but we could talk of this one before it blows me up completely.
i need you. you need me. we had it all. all but love. blinding love. it was a selfless love that i had given you. let me see the nightfall no matter how ugly it may seem because i loved it even if i can't grasp it quite fully.
i miss the time where i was able to hold you completely and felt of no grudges inside myself. help me fight this.
eto ang mga bagay2 na dapat kong isaisip kung lalayas uli ako ng bahay:
1. Bring a towel or atleast a small face towel. (my gosh, im so stupid. i forgot this one. kaya ginagawa ko, yung suot ko na damit, yun yung pamunas ko. yuck. haha).
2. bring all the necessary stuffs. Bring all the stuffs that you think you might not need kasi most of the times, these stuffs that you think na hindi importante might becme handy sa trip mo. Like yung sunblock at facial mist.(arte noh? Haha)
3. be patient. sa ginawa ko sa aking paglayas, wala akong ginawa kundi tumanga, tumanga, at tumanga. pero sa aking pagtanga, nag-iisip ako sa mdaming bagay. masarap din mag-isip minsan pero wag masyado at mababaliw ka tulad ng nangyari sa akin.
4. masarap maging mahirap. ewan ko ba, i love the simplicity of life when i ran away. yung tipong nakaupo ka lang sa kung saan, nakatingin sa sky. Kaso di sa lahat ng oras kelangan mo magmukang mabirap.
5. expect the unexpected. Always assume the worst palagi. need to explain more?
6. in reality, the world is but a trashcan. madaming basurahan pero madami pa rin ang mga pasaway. alam mo yun. nakakaasar!! tipong nasa harapan na ang basurahan pero tinatapon lang sa daan yung dumi nila. or worse, me mga tao talaga na di alam ang salitang "banyo" at kahit saan lang dudumi. yuck. pero totoo.
7. you wont please everyone. And vice versa. Be humble enough to shut your mouth when this happens. Edukado ka, intindihin mo yung mga taong ganito. Minsan me mga tao naman na ubod na kadirina tipong basura tlga. Example, nung nagroom ako nung umalis ako sa lugar ko, parang earthquake yung kwarto ko dahil sa umaalog na alindayog sa kabilang kwarto. AMEN!
8. always look up. Sa dami ng mabaho sa mundo ang tanging paraan lang eh ang tumingala at amuyin ang hangin sa taas-kahit di yan banyo. Kahit bahay man yan or gubat. Eto effective seryoso. Pag nasusuka ako tumitingin na lang ako sa itaas para makaamoy ako ng sariwang ere.XD
9. kung lalayas kaat mamumundok, its better to do your nails and paint them with a dark nail polish color. Why? Pag nasa labas ka, wala ka magagawa sa kuko mo my dear. Syempre kadiri naman na makitanf madumi ang iyong nails kaya icover mo muna yun. Syempre pag nasa bundok ka din, mangingitim yan kahit anung mangyari kasi mapuputkan or malalgyan yan ng alikabok ng lupa. Im not telling you to do that all your life but atleast yung pagkadumi matatago. You can clean them up later dib a?
10.lastly, rid all of the things that might track you up. dont open your blogs, friendsters, and mails if you dont know how to close your ip address. change your passwords if someone knows your password for these stuffs especially the passwords for your atm and bank accounts. oh! dont withdraw your money near from where you're located. mahahnap ka nun!
hearing the news of flying somewhere from my loved ones was never quite a big deal for me. ever since i was young, my parents especially my dad usually goes out of town or sometimes flies abroad for seminars. my other relatives also does that, to work or to spend a nice vacation there. but migrating was another thing for me especially when my favorite cousin migrated in spain. and then, my other cousins were migrating to uk as well. i felt sad since i won't be able to see them like before. and i miss them so much.
now another news broke out. one of my loved ones was leaving as well. he'll be off to canada in a matter of two weeks i guess. i was happy and sad at the same time. migrating to another country is a nice opportunity pero the thought of him leaving was not nice to hear syempre.
pede siya magaral dun uli at a prestigous university. he can work there din. syempre he can be with her precious sister, yung kasama niya na lang dito s abuhay na toh na kapamilya. there's so many nice oportunities na mangayayri pag pumunta siya dun syempre. but then, having him away from me means sacrifice. nasanay ako na kasama ko yun nasanay ako na katabi ko yun sa jeep pag uwian, nialalwayan yung fave nyang jacket. nasanay ako na sinusuntok at pinapadugo yung gums nya pag niallambing ko siya. miss ko yung nagagalit siya pag di ako nakakareply pag nagkaron ng lag yung cp ko dahils a flooded texts nya. ill miss those days pag sinusumpong sya ng sakit sa likod, sa mata at sa kung saan at magiging instant nurse ako. mamimiss ko yun lahat.
i remembered what a friend of mine told me while she's having a session with me. she said that all of my loved ones will be away from me. lahat daw ng mamahain ko eh magiging malayo sakn. awts, i dont really believe all of those stuffs about palmistry but the hell. parang nagkakatotoo ata yun.
well, sabi ng mahal ko ayaw daw nya tlga pumunta dun kasi nakakatamad daw dun at andito yung buhay nya. plus, he said na ayaw daw nya yung magiging work nya dun syempre sa una taghirap pa daw siya dun. at ayaw daw nya manirahan sa bundok.
hay ewan. bahala siya kung ano usto nya. kung ano plano nya. ako, ayoko pangunahan yung gusto niya eh syempre buhay niya yun.
"nung nagsama tayo ay kanan ang ginamit mo. ngunit biglang natorete.. .ikaw pala ay kaliwete.."
wala lang trip ko lang ilagay tong lyrics kasi eto yung pinapakinggan ko ngayon. haha!!
1. under renovation tong blog ko. katangahan kasi naiba ko yung template nang wala sa oras. nabura yung mga echos ko dito. asar nga eh. di ko naman alam panu babaguhin toh. kung sinu yung me mabuting puso jan eh pm nyo ako kung pede. (im sorry dear steph, nawala yung tagboard ba yun? :( )
2. god i miss having this blog!! wala lang. . . kasi lately i can't stay outside my parents' bedroom (which happens to be my place as well. i dont have a room kasi tlga) kasi baka makita ko yung DRAGON.alam mo yun? yung DRAGON (i bet you're reading this dear dragon. and the hell with you. basahin mo lang. blog ko toh eh! haha!)!!?!?! ayun. kaya lagi na lang ako sa kwarto.
ps: si DRAGON ay hindi tlga dragoon. muka lang talaga shang dragon.!! ampness. hakhak.
" whatever"
i felt a bit mean last night but i think what i did was right. kasi every day na halos andito si dex tuwing hapon tapos he'll leave pag mga 8pm na. kahapon, we were supposed to wait for my dad (na hindi naman tlga dumating) kaso nadatnan namin si DRAGON. ayun. si DRAGON cherva sobra. tumawag tas kinakausap yung kung sinumang hinayupak yun and said na " MAY IBANG TAO DITO SA BAHAY UMUWI KA!" eh syempre ayaw naman palakihin ng gulo ni dex yung nangyayari sa house kaya umalis na siya. hinatid ko. we had a short conversation with that DRAGON. nung nahatid ko na si dex sa sakayan at nakauwi na ako sa bahay. super dabog si DRAGON. parang ewan yun, tanda na isip bata pa rin noh? sabi nya masyado daw akong masama kasi iniisip ko lang daw sarili ko. at di daw ako mabubuhay kung wala siya. ECHOS! iniisip nya tlga eh puro pera, aba.. . hindi ko kasalanan kung nanghiingi ng pera sina mama sa kanya. ginagamit nila rin ako para makakuha ng pera ah (its a long story). hindi ako bumalik dahil sa wala na akong pera and all pero dahil sa baka "grumabe" lagay ni mama sa "Sakit" daw niya. ayoko na sa totoo lang umuwi para mawala na yung problema nila sa pera tutal AKO lang daw yung problema nila dahil sa ginagastusan. (duh. ako na nga lang yung pinagaaral eh.) ayun iyak si DRAGON and all. paki ko? i dont give a damn anymore about her feelings sa totoo lang.
ayun. im home na last monday. yung isang hinayupak kasi jan inwui ako sa bahay namin. badtrip.
sa totoo lang ayoko pa umuwi. ayoko mag -aral muna pansamantala pero kelangan. hindi dahil sa gusto ko i -enjoy ang life and all pero para matigil and mga chervaloo dito sa bahay. gusto ko magwork para matahimik sila. alam mo yun. para wala silang masabi and para tumahimik sila. tutal pera naman yung kelangan nila.
last monday i received a news that i don't have any failures sa mga first semester ko. yey. ayun. i had mixed feelings when i read that message na wala akong bagsak -happiness na yey! kahit nanggago ako eh pasado parin ako, at panibugho na amf! i have to study tlga. at wala tlga akong tamang rason para magstop muna ng schooling ngayon.
1. legal na kami.HA-HA
kasama ko si dexter sa ministop nun with all our bags on the table and on the chairs. tas kinatok kami ni papa mula sa window. ayun si dex parang ewan kinakabahan ata. we went to cash n' carry after para mabayaran ko yung utang ko ke dex na 1500 (uhm, i wont tell the reason why i borrowed money from him. nakakatawa nga silang 2 talaga sa totoo lang habang naguusap sila. si papa tinatanong si dex about so many stuffs haha. ayun. wala lang. payag naman si papa sina ate at mama lang yung me poblema.
inggit lang si ate kasi sa akin pede magdala ng bf sha hindi pede. haha!!
2. cinderella-like drama.
ayun. sa bahay major linis ako ng bahay. linis dito, linis dyan. at syempre puro utos si mama. mas madami pa utos asar. naasar ako. ala lang. tas si ate ginamit pa cp ko pinagtetext sina rob at si dex. much worse, binura nya yung phonebook ko sa cp ko habang tulog ako eh. asar!!
and nobody knows the exact reason why i left - not my family, not my freinds, and maybe not even me.. and up to now, im still not coming home i guess. there were a lot of people that was squeezed tightly by my sister, that's why im still not coming home, despite the fact that i was on my way home supposedly yesterday.
i do ask sincerely for an apology to all the ones who have been harrassed by my fucking sister who doesn't really know hte meaning of innocence and how to be broadminded. and my family doesn't really have that thing called patience and what you call honesty. my sister has a problaem - constantly freaking out and calling everyone she knows and keeps harrassing my friends while my mom? soi much for her honesty. she texted that she died and i must come home, and the next minute someone texted me that my mom called him. darn.
why would they harrass a lot of people who doesn't really know my whereabouts? and why the hell will you harrass them - squeeze them and say that you're going to ditch them in jail? hey, they don't even know where i am and the sole reason why i left, and they're helping you as well.
di ba nakakakirita yun pag tumutulong ka na nga tas sasabihan mo pa ng bad influence ka?? soorry for the term pero bullshit talaga! and i certainly hate it!
im quite pissed by he issue's that's been ciculating around my class and my family - that im goddamn pregnant. HELL NO. balik - baligtarin mo pa matris ko hindi ako buntis. itaga mo yan sa bato!! hindi rin ako nakadroga. ni hindi pa nga ako nakakainom ng alak eh at never pa ako nakatikim ng yosi!! cherva.
being far from your family may be quite complicated especailly for me who don't exactly how to go where and how to live independently, and im proud that i can live without the help of my family right now. i know i have several mistakes in this so - called "running away from reality" but right now, im really fa ing reality. and i hope they accepted their won mistakes as well.
im still having second thoughts of continuing my studies or working na, both sounds beneficial to me and my family eh. im still having dsecond thoughts whether ill be coming home for good or ill just drop by. im still thinking (well, even though i have no brains right now)
minsan naisip ko pa na magpakasama na lang para naman magkatotoo na lahat ng sinabi ng mga tao sa akin. minsan naisip ko na lang na mabuhay na bum para atleast may katotohanan sa sinasabi nila. per alam ko mali.
minsan para na rin maging legal kami ni dex pabuntis kaya ako? (asa kayo ayoko manganak, ever!)
magdrugs kaya ako para high ako parati? (asa ayoko nun sabog na nga ako gaganun pa ako!)
or magpakamataya pa kaya ako? para matapos na lahat ng toh.
im not that foolish to do those all because i still believe in the concept of heaven, that in every struggle we have, there is a so called stage where we experience happiness - maybe acceptance and contentment- after every sorrow. hey, life doesn't deal with happiness or sorrow alone. it deals with that two contradicting components.
i am alone. thinking. thinking thinking.
under this dark haven of bright lights slowly crumbling from my eyes as i silenlty enter another realm of fantastic reality.
okay. sa ngayon, di pa namin napapasa yung indi film namin and deadline nun eh kaninang 4pm. im really sorry pero TAENA TLGA!!! hapdi na nga ng mata ko eh sa totoo lang.
kaninang umaga, minadali ko ang pagpasok sa school para magawa yung mga stuffs tipong burning cherva and all. and syempre para mapaview ko sa mga kagrupo ko. ako proud ako kasi first, ako yung me main idea talaga sa film namin. second, syempre si dex nagedit.
the problem started when the file cant be relinked at alvin's netshop. as in naka y8 pa ako just to calm myself a bit. nakailang paperdoll din akong natry kanina. ehehehe.. . kaso ayaw tlga. ayun.. tapos nagwawala na ako kasi mga 2:30 na yun kasi 4pm nga yung passing and manny, our president said that pag walang video, zero kami. so ganun.
mula mendiola, nagwalkathon kami papuntang recto at hell yeah kakapagod grabe!! we tried asking a video editor sa recto and he said na balikan yungpc na ginamitan namin - eh sa bahay ko yun sa pque.
ayun nag-lrt kami papuntang pasay. fromt here naghire kami taxi. yung unang taxi sabi eh 250php. tas yung isa mga 300. ASA sila!! eh 150 na lang tlga pappunta dun. the last one was 200. ayun. so mejo okay na.
pagkarating sa bahay eh biglang ayos na ng pc. eh mga 4pm na yun. grbae freak out na ako. nagsisisgaw tlga ako sa bahay sa takot. first time ko yun tlga eh. tapos, umuwi si mama. ayun, nagpatawag ako ng taxi kaso puno na daw sched ng taxi nila. tapos nirerender na yung video. no choice tlga naghihintay kami ni dexter. ayun. biglang nagtetext na mga kaklase ko galit na glalit super.
kasalanan ko ba tlga yun? eh ayaw magrelink kina alvin pa alng? ubos nga mahigit isang daan ko. nakita ako ni mama umiyak pinagalitan pa ako sa harap ni dexter. masama ba magpakita ng sama ng loob? i was full of misery at that time and my tears are bursting from hopelessness.
sa ngayon, si dexter nasa likod ko at binabasa ito. dex, di natin kasalanan ito, tanga yung computer okay?? gawin mo na yung video at magpapalit lang ako ng uniform kasi nakauniform ako mula kanina na pagdating natin dito. pahiram ko sa iyo ang hersheys na shirt ko. fave ko yun. :)
buti na lang pumayag si maam na ipasa tomorrow or else mamamatay ako tlga sa sama ng loob. now, off with the project " paeng"!!
note:
hindi dumating si papa kaya mejo kampante na lang ata si dex. anu pa ba? hindi na siya makakagat paglabas ng bahay kasi kilala na siya ng mga aso ko although tinatahulan siya ( maybe dahil sa masarap siya gawing buto.:) anu pa ba? ambait na nina tita at tito pati si ate. si mama nr pa nga lang as usual. :D
today is nothing but a WORKING HOLIDAY to all the students especially us college students since the finals is drawing to a near. ayun.
i was again, freaking out, of course. tomorrow is the deadline of the cadd and my english paper(well im simultaneously doing my english paper while im having this blog as well. echos!) and actually its really something hilarious to think about - im with dexter right now!!
he was our video editor for our indie film and unfortunately, he doesnt have a computer to work on so at first we went to recto to ask our favorite internet shop if we could install ulead 11 on their pc. they said yes but we cant install it because there's no cd-rom installed on their pcs.
our next stop was L's house. he was really nice super (and i owe you too bigtime tol!! i promise i wont tell!! *wink wink*), he let us borrow his ever - loving laptop dahil sa walang cd -rom din sa pc shop nila. but since its way too late and im not allowed to stay overnight at someone's house (and the fact that i dont want to stay way too late at L's house nakakahiya eh!), i decided to call my mom if dex could spend the night at our house.
in your perspective, you might think that hey, its alright tutal schoolwork din siya. but NO. my family's super conservative and i never let a guy enter my house unless he's my relative tlga. he's the first ever guy that came into my house. well, i introduced him as " paeng" since kilala nina mama yung name na "dexter" at "kaichi". ayoko naman na karnihin siya nina tito at ng iba pang mga tao dito sa bahay kaya ganun. ehe :)
ayun, masungit si mama as usual. pinapagalitan pa ako haha. pero anu magagawa ko? kesa naman na matulog ako sa bahay ng ibang tao di ba? ayoko din noh, di ako gamay pag ganun. i never had a sleepover tlga kahit sa school.
sa ngayon, he's still sleeping at our sofa. benta nga eh sarap ng tulog syaang walang sound. takaw nga nya he ate 2 pancit cantons( haller tlga noh pero he wants pa na 4 yung lutuin ko for him!! sa kanya naman yun eh ayoko lang kasi di kasya sa lutuan.. hehe) me milo pang kasama!! sheesh. . ako nga wala nga eh extra joss lang.:D
im quite happy even if super nerbyos abot namen dalawa - lalo ako dahil ako yung papagalitan super talaga.. my mom's still not believing about these stuffs but hell yeah, im doing this for my finals!!
buti nga wala si papa s bahay kundi baka napatay na si dex sa itak. haha!!
he's the first ever guy who's not my relative who came into my house -and even slept at our sofa, used the cr and all. i swear i find it cute. haha!! im sure were going to get killed -especially ME- but i did take that risk. i wonder what would happen if this wil happen every single day.. hmm.. :)
breathe in. breathe out. don't panic.. .JUST SCREAM!!!
eto na ata yung motto ko ngayon. sa dami ng kailangan gawin eh puro sigaw at tili na lang nagagawa ko para mwala yung tensyon sa utak at katawan ko. haha. Most of the time my head hurts and so as the back of my neck. Lagi na lang ganito masakit ewan ko nga eh. Nakakatamad pagpacheck up kasi sa totoo lang kahit na me doctor sa kabilang kwarto naming. :D
na-move na yung deadline sa cadd on thursday. and my parner's not helping. darn her!! Tas mahal po tae mga 300php yun 20x30 lang na papel eh! Bwiset!!buti na lang tapos ko na. salamat sa mga tumulong nung ako'y nagpapanic na. syempre si rouella dearest!! ehem ehem. (uy special mention si lola ehe..! pati si steph na rin kasi di na nya pinagawa yung kanyang drawing. sensya girl..) ill treat you guys tlga before the great escapade.:D
ano pa ba isang katangahan ko? nakalimutan ko yung mga drafts ko for my paper in english. good thing i have some files stored on my pc.(oh btw okay na pc namin ehehehe!! partey!!) bakit ko pa kasi iniwan sa locker yung envelope ko eh!! kaengotan di ba? eh deadline na nun this thursday. wala ngang pasok tomorrow di ko naman makukuha yun sa school kasi nakasara yung building.. ansaya saya!!
Tomorrow, dapat im supposed to do our design plate since malapit na yung finals and dapat matapos nay un within this week yung plan para pwede na magstart for the model. ANG PROBLEM ANAMAN EH TONG VIDEO EDITING.bwiset nayan!!
Nung Monday, I was really pissed off because of my groupmate. Bahala sya. My kada said that I have the right to get mad kasi she’s not helping me and it’s a group project, she even had that guts to get mad at me. THE NERVE!! Dagdag mo pa yung nangyari sa usb ko ngayon lang. I just found out that kuya from the shop did something on my usb and I cant literally view my files unless I click the search button on something. Good thing I could still remember how he opened the files.
Ayun, sa sobrang asar ko napaiyak ako nung nabasa ko tong “gift” from my kada she and nikki. Wala silang magawa kaya ganito. Ginawan nila ako kanta. I was surprised that they made this one even if they’re doing their cadd paper as well. Anyway here it goes:
To: Karla M.B
Kai Chi Girl
(revised version of Barbie Girl by Aqua)
I am Kai Chi’s girl
In Kai Chi’s world.
Life is Emo
It’s for posers
You can flat my hair
And dress me anywhere
Imagination
Though I have no i-long
>guy: “cmon karla let’s go party”
>girl: hi-ya a-ko
>guy: cmon mahal let’s go somewhere
>girl: eee hihi eee hihi
You can touch
You can play
You can say
Im always yours
You can kiss
You can hug
I can say
Youre always mine
>guy: “cmon karla let’s go party”
>girl: hi-ya a-ko
>guy: cmon mahal let’s go
>girl: eee hihi eee hihi
>guy: “cmon karla let’s go party”
>girl: hi-ya a-ko
>guy: cmon mahal let’s go
>girl: eee hihi eee hihi
>girl: oh kai chi im having so much love
>guy: yeah mahal itotodo pa
=D love you karlaaaaa… -umbrellas =)
(okay. Sorry pero me mga implication ditto against emo people. Ehe. Sensya na lang. I know its super babaw per bahala kayo, naiyak ako dun. Ang sweet noh? Ginawan nila ako neto,. .:D)
this afternoon, i had a small reunion with my old co-members of the impossible clan in rcom. xten texted me yesterday if dexter and me would show up today.well, we showed up despite the last conversation dex had with xten. anyway, i got to see jerome and jomar. i also got to see nadj and jawah - my muslim friends!! i was really that happy to see them after so many months.
they've changed. and im happy for them. :D the girls' were prettier this time around while the guys changed also - jerome was a bit more emo, got his hair shorter than before, while jomar was smiling every once in a while. well dexter had his hair cut also, he's sporting a new "metal" style (well, im going gaga every time he wearsthose kinds of outfit). and he said he's changed and stopped his vices he had before (well i really hope so.)
and i wondered, have i changed as well? if yes, did i changes for the better - or for worse?
they said, hey! you've changed! you already have dexter!
and i thought, will a person change just because there's someone in your life?
personally i think i haven't changed yet. i look the same as before - that skinny, nerdy type of girl who brings a camping bag for school; that girl who always fears of doing anything that she doesn't know about; that childish girl who still laughs her heart out and screams whenevr she panics..that girl haven't changed for so long and is waiting for that change to happen. i may have someone but that doesn't mean that you'll change.
im still the same old me, i guess.
when will i change?
perhaps in the succeeding months? i dont know. but i hope it would be for the better. the decision i made will be my same old choice until i die, with certain limitations i guess.
" change is breaking us apart, maybe we should start again.."
before ko ikwento yung kahapon. ill make kwento my day nung isang araw. (anak ng. conyo ba ito?? hahaha) nung friday, asan ba ako? hmm... i think i was busy with my cadd at that time. you see, my pc bog down and its still under repair by my sister friend. anyway, some friends from rakista.com came by at about four int he afternoon (si laine, macoi and si sam). actually early that afternoon i had no idea that there's going to be a concert inside ust. sa totoo lang, i hate my school because walang thrill when it comes to concerts eh. but dahil andon sila, i think i was forced to entertain them since they visited my school. nakakhiya naman kung di ko sila aasikasuhin. :D nagkataong wala kaming klase sa three subjects ko that time so before i decided to stay and enjoy their company after i the meeting i had with my partner sa design.
so ayun..masaya siya. kasi dumami na kami eh. i saw ella and steph din there habang andun din sila carl, edchelle, ate ehmz, si jox, and all. the problem there, they all went out to get a dose of their vitamins( yosi) eh di naman sila tiga-school ko. ayun di sila pinapasok tuloy. nagantay sila sa labas ng tayuman.. ahoahoahohoo..
now the story kahapon.
i woke up early that morning and since i went home at about twelve already ( meron myx mo concert sa school nun.) i was really groggy at about five in the morning. unfortunately, i forgot my plate. ayun, nagliwaliw na lang ako tutal wal ana rin akong magagwa eh. i went to the library with my kada, and decided to be a more "susyal" type (talagang ganun yung spelling ko haha). eh cafe lang yun. gusto ko sana yung cheesecake na fave ko dun kaso i really hade no money at that time. ayun, napilitan akong uminom ng kape kasi yung na lang yung mura na nakakbusog. haha.
COFFEE MADNESS.
ankaso i don't really drink coffee and i actually hate its taste kahit pa noong bata pa ako. natatawa na nga yung 2 kong kasama kasi tlgang di ko alam which is which eh and i was really asking meticulously the waitress there the differences of each type of coffee - like the difference between an espresso and a latte or a typical brewed coffee and a black coffee. and i ended up purchasing a mocchaccino - kape na me tsokolate na ewan pero malakas ata yun. ewan. actually, that was my fourth time na uminom ng kape. and ginawa ko for take out yung ginawa ko kasi malamang mabagal ako uminom nun. so ayun, edi dumating na yung order. at di ko alam panu iinumin yung kape ko kasi me cover, tinaggal ko yung takip eh di pala dapat ganun. ayun yung ibang laman tumapon sa mesa. (shucks kakahiya!!) ayun. so ayun. my kada, who's a coffee addict taught me the correct way - ME I-RIP KA SA LALAGYAN. shucks, ang stupid ko. haha!! ayun.
HERE COMES THE AFTERSHOCK!
we went back to the classroom kasi baka magtaka si sir sa amin eh umalis kami eh habang may klase. and my classmates saw my cup of coffee. ayun. sayang naman yung 40php ko na mocchaccino kaya inubos ko. ankaso kasi, bawal sa akin yun. nerbyosa kasi ako masyado at mahina tyan ko. in the end, i ended up being so nervous and all. and my stomach ached (pero di ako natatae. sinisikmura ako!)
abut eleven ata yun biglang lumindol twice. at dahil we were int he 7th floor, super ramdam namin yung pagyanig. nahilo aka noon, dagdag mo pa yung nerbyos na nagawa sa akin nung lumindol. haha!!
nung natapos yung klase namin, my kada went down to buy their lunch. ako i was busy doing the plan for our design plate and may baon ako. sumakit bigla ulo ko. at biglang sumakit na rin yung tyan ko. napansin kong wala palang binaon si mama na kanin sa akin so di na lang ako kumain ng lunch. so ayun. eh ayoko kumain kaya pinabayaan ko na lang.
lumala ata ako nun eh. kasi may feeling nanasusuka ako super. at alam ko dahil sa ulcer yun. napansin ng mga kada ko yun kasi namutla ako super daw. they bought me some candies. ayun, pinkit ko na lang nun.
"TO MAKE BAGAY THIS DAY"
nung nagising ako, dumating na pala yung next professor namin. that day kasi, first part ng design critique ng class namin. so, there were eight pairs who are going to take their defense for their finals in design 5. nagising ako kasi tinabihan ako ni maam eh. inasar pa ako. medyo masama pa rin pakiramdam ko nun eh. at me feeling na nasusuka pa.
sabi ng kaklase ko, "karla nsusuka ka?" tumungo n lang ako nung lumabas ako ng room as tinatakpan ko yung mouth ko kasi baka magsuka tlga ako. tas sabi nya" BUNTIS KA NOH?? KAYA KA NAGPAKASAL SA HUWES NOH??" napamura ako syempre. dinerecho ko na lang yung banyo. kaso di ako nasuka eh. :D
tas bumalik ako ng room syempre uli kasi papansinin ako ni maam aasarin ako nun for sure. eh me pagkachervaloo kasi yun eh. hehehehehe.. .:D nung pagpasok ko, yung bulol kong kaklase yung nagthesis. let me write the lines he said that made us laugh tlga:
" we decided to make our building to be made out of glass to - you know - make bagay with Beato (our college building)"
sabi ni maam, anu raw? you make bagay it? sabi ng kaklase ko. yes yes maam ser!! you make bagay it para maganda!!
sumakit tyan ko dun ha. to think lalaki pa yun. haha
tas yung sumunod mas benta kasi class clown namin. eh yung mode of presentation is thru the cam sa me laptop para maview yung mga dwgs namin. our dwgs are being held by a classmate. aba, yung class clown namin parang ewan, ginagawa, pinapazoom in at out yung dwg nya. edi nahirapan yung kapartner nya kakagalaw ng papel. haha.:D
class clown: " this is our smoking area, you know so we can take a dose of our vitamins."
maam: "anu ba, di ba smoke - free ang ust?
class clown: dito po tatakas yung mga magsmoke para maayos.
maam: edi nahuli sila??
class clown : pag nahuli sila, tatalon nalan gpo sila sa pool para okay :D
aruy. nwala hilo ko talaga nung time na yun. to think pa yung mukha pa lang natatwa na ako.
PANIC! ATTACK!!
maagang natapos yung klase namin tutal presentation lang ng 20 mins per group eh. ayun. so i texted dex if ever samahan ako sa cadd shop since i dont have any pc at home plus my parents and my tito doesnt want to install any cadd file in their pc. the problem there started. sarado daw yung shop. edi nagfreak out ako todo (doble pa kasi yung epekto ng kape tumama sakin) pag tingin ko pa sa money ko, as in sakto na lang pera pauwi pati yung pangshop ko. edi namroblema ako kasi wala na ako pera para bumili ng installer. that ws about 7pm na and dex said na itry balikan yung shop. at the same time, i texted some friends of mine kasi super important yun. finals ko kasi and i need an installer so badly.:(
ayun, dahil time pressured ako andami kong mali kahapon. si dex nga nakatulog na sa kahihintay sa akin habang gumagawa ng plate.
nakauwi na ako ng past 12 am na sa super gabi ko na umalis ng shop and sarado na yung lrt nun. we took a jeep instead. at super tulog si dex nun eh. ayun. pagkauwi, gawa naman ng history paper hanggang magumaga.! mga 6am gising pa ako nun, naabutan pa ako ni dex na gising.:D
moral of the story::
1. wag iinom ng mocchaccino.nakamamatay lalo sa nerbyosa tulad ko.
2. when it rains, it doesn't pours. BABAHAIN KA GIRL!! BABAHAIN KA TODONG TODO!!
3. it's better na magpanic, wag lang magwala.:D
4. hindi lahat ng nasusuka buntis.
5. wagka magpapakasosyal kung wala ka sa mood.mapaphiya ka lang.:D
okay katabi ko si dexter dito sa computer shop. he said why should i have to do this blog first if im supposed to be doing my cadd, but hell no, i need a breather! TAKE A BREAK MUNA EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE.. ehehehe..:D
ayun, my dad went to mindanao so im forced to talk to my mom and my sister for a week. hehe konting tiis na lang muna. ayun, my mom didn't gave me the one thou she said she'll be giving m pero ayos lang.. kahit kulang din bigay ni papa na allowance.. sheesh.
grabe, i feel like i\m hyperventilating pag naiisip ko yung two thousand na nawala eh. and dagdag pa yung mga kailangan gawin.. yung last shooting namove tomorrow. yung final plan kailangan na gawin. ano pa ba? due on monday yung mga papers pati yung kay beloved steph.. hmm... .di bale, last semester ko na ata toh. might as well enjoy this panic mode im having right now.
and today will be the last day para sa lamay ng mathprofessor ko. tomorrow eh cremation na. at hell yeah, di pa nahahanap ang aming prelims ng aming bagong strict na prfoessor. god, please ayoko bumagsak sa math.
now, on with my cadd finals!! section nalang!! witweeew!! i love you mahal!! pakiss!! :D
losing your money sucks a lot. especially when somebody stole it.
DARN IT I'M SO PISSED OFF!!
yesterday, i just broke dex's headphones so i promised him that ill pay for the repair of his headphones. that night, i did checked my ampao and placed it directly on my wallet. it was exactly two thousand pesos. i was really excited since i planned to buy some stuffs.
we ate at chowking, so when i desided to use my money for it, i just got surprised when the money wasn't there anymore. AS IN WALANG LAMAN YUNG LALAGYAN KO!! I nagfreak out ako syempre. two thou din yun eh. and i dont have any extra money left. i texted my mom to ask if she cleaned my closet. she replies yes. then i started assuming that she might have been the one who got my money since she did that many times before.
okay lang sana eh. KASO PINAGALITAN AKO NI PAPA. he called me up at around four. yun yun eh!!! di ba ansaya saya. pinagalitan pa ako ni papa sabi di ko daw pinapahalagahan yung pera and all. yun pala binaligtad ako ni mama. asar kaya!! ARAY. nangutang pa ako ng 200 tuloy. BADTRIP!!! SUPER BADTRIP!!
nung asa classroom ako, she called me and said that tumahimik na lang ako kasi galit na galit si papa sa nangyari. i asked her why she told papa if she knows that he'll get mad later. she replied that she told papa kasi i dont have money anymore. darn it. bago umuwi tinext ako ni mama. she said that she'll give me one thou na lang in replace for the "lost" money.
that time when i came home, my dad was waiting for me even it's past eleven already. he reprimanded me and assumed that i used my money for something else (but of course im not like that. i dont spend too much unless if its food or its highly important) ambaet baet ni mama pa sa akin. as in todo asikaso.
naku super badtrip. bahala sila!
Nakakawindang ang mga nangyari ngayong araw. Mejo okay lang naman, carry pa po kahit kanina sa cadd eh muka akong nagkapalpitations sa nerbyos nung sinabi ni maam na ipasa na yung mga gawa. witweew!!.. ehehe..
i’ll just cut it down to pieces para mas okay..
1.an unbearable news.
When I was in cagayan last summer, I was very eager to hear that im going to have a new baby cousin. You see, im the fourth eldest while my sister is the eldest of all. However, yesterday I got news that this baby cousin of mine died last Saturday due to congenital heart disease. Excited pa man din ako na may aalagaan ako this coming sembreak (kung andito pa ako sa kanila ehe). Kawawa naman yung baby.. sana ako na lang yung namatay.:(
2. bills + prices = STRESS
dex and I decided to check out some malls today to find out the costs of appliances, utensils and furniture for the house. At first we went at Isetann since it’s the nearest one that we could go to (we don’t really have any money as of the moment). Ayun, at first it was alright eh. I found out that there are cheaper sofas there although the “softness” won’t be felt there eh plus there’s only limited space eh. Then we went to sm. Well, I was really eager to go there because that’s the only place besides the appliance center and home depot that I know that has nice items. Yes, the items were NICE!! Jusmiyooo!! Ang mamahal. Last march, I checked out the cheapest price of a refrigerator and it was 1thou. Ngayon?? 6thou na!! sauce.Pati mga bedsheet cover ang mahal!! 1500?!shucks. I still have the list actually. At nakakadugo talaga ang mga presyo. The last stop we went to was the sm appliance center since dex wanted a tv and a dvd player plus a theater system for the house.Mantakin mo 22thou isang tv lang yun. Di pa yun flat screen ah. mga 21” pa lang yun. Tsaka yung washing machine – 7thou na yugn pinakamura na maganda.
Bago kami pumunta eh ang daldal naming. Habang naglilibot eh patahimik na patahimik na kami. Di kalaunan si dex nung pauwi na eh anlamig ng kamay. At nagcomute ako sa mga gastusin.. aabot lang naman ng mga 60thou+ for basic necessities. Shucks.
At that moment, seryoso sumakit ulo ko!!
2.wag mag”bate” sa maraming tao!!
While I was away from my kada this afternoon, my kada and some of my classmates went to visit the wake of our late math professor who passed away last Saturday. (sumalangit nawa ka sir!! Burloloy and matatandaan ko sa iyo purebur!!)
Nagising pala siya nung nagvisit daw sila kay sir nung asa ospital siya nung Saturday din (5hours before he died) and dumidilat na although di daw nakakapagreact.ayun..wala echos ko lang!!
Back to the topic!! Ayun, so nung pabalik ang aking kada sa school, may nakasabay sa jeep na me ginagawang nakakahiya talaga. As in! eh mga kada ko kasi (including me) eh super duper ingay at walang kiyeme pagdating sa mga paligid naming. Tas me kaharap yung isa kong kabarkada na isang guy who’s wearing a pair of sunglasses.tapos, may ginagawang kababalaghan!!masturbate baga!! Eto pa usapan naming:
Clod: oo!! As in katabi nga ni nikki eh!!
Karl: Aw yuck kadiri, bakit di mo sinigawan?
Clod: din a ako makapagsalita nashock ako eh!
Karl: seryoso tlgang nasa akto ha?
Clod: akala ko din baka hindi nya ginagawa kaso me tumalsik eh!!
*tawanan with the boys*
jusme naman, sumakit tlga ulo ko lalo dun haha. Nakakatawa nga naman kung mapakinggan kaso syempre kadiri yun.. how I wish I was there so I was able to smash that guy into pieces. I hate exhibitionists you know! Just talk about morality dib a?? yuck. That person could’ve at least used a private place to do his thing eh!! Yuck. Simply EEEEWWWW.
Yun lang naman ang nangyari na very weird today. Moral of the day:
bigyang importansya ang lahat ng bagay at tao ditto sa mundo, pahalagahan mo ito kasi di mo alam kung kalian ito kukunin sa iyo.
pumikit pag bibili ng gamit. Magtipid habang mas maaga pa!!
i was searching silently for my english baby thesis about parish churches. then all of the stuffs i just saw were about MARRIAGES. darn it. i thought, hell yeah theres a lot of people going to this marriage thingy. kung magpapakasal ako anu kaya mangyayari?
then, i remembered my current subject in theology - MARRIAGE AND FAMILY LIFE. oo, its funny i have a subject like that. do we really have to undergo that subject? are we really going to apply what are professors told us when we're going into it? last time, my professor made us compute down a list of wedding expenditures (like gowns to cakes and all) pati the daily expenses of newlyweds. jusme. well, i happened to compute that before for the upcoming wedding of my sister eh.ayun..wala lang nasabi ko lang.
now back to the topic. i happened to open the links about marriages just out of curiosity. and this is something i found:
(eto for catholic marriage made by a couple somewhere in sto domingo church before)
IX MONTHS FROM DATE OF WEDDING
1. Baptismal certificate for marriage purposes
* If you have even a photocopy, of your baptismal certificate, the parish office where you were baptized can issue you a baptismal certificate "for marriage purposes" in five minutes. Cost for the processing is P20 in St. Francis Church, Mandaluyong and P50 in San Antonio
2. Confirmation certificate for marriage purposes
* As with the baptismal certificate, having a copy of your confirmation certificate will get you a confirmation certificate issued "for marriage purposes" within minutes. Cost for the processing is P50 (in Christ the King)
3. Certificate of attendance in a pre-wedding seminar (Discovery Weekend, Catholic Engaged Encounter, or the like)
* While San Antonio does not require any additional seminars, e.g. family planning seminars, other parishes may still require these. Please check with the parish office where you will be married.
FOUR MONTHS FROM DATE OF WEDDING
4. Marriage license
* This can be obtained at either of the couple's municipality
* Documents to be submitted: birth certificate of both (photocopy will do, not necessary to have the NSO certified copy), one recently taken 1x1 id picture of both
* Fee in Quezon City is P250 (P150 for the filing & form and P100 for the license)
* You will also be asked to attend a half day seminar (PM)
* Processing in Quezon City Hall (East Avenue) takes 11 days
* Note that the marriage license is only valid for 120 days (may vary depending on the church where you are getting married), so make sure you don't apply for this too early
AT LEAST TWO MONTHS
5. Canonical Interview
* This is usually conducted by a duly authorized priest from the church where you will be married. Please clear with the parish office if you wish for this interview to be conducted by a different priest.
* During this interview, you will be asked questions individually and as a couple. You will also be asked to fill out some forms
* This would be a good time to submit the forms you have already procured (baptismal and confirmation certificates issued "for marriage purposes"), marriage license, certificate of attendance in a pre-wedding seminar, marriage license (if you already have it)
6. Wedding banns
* Usually posted in your respective parishes, as well as the church where you will be wed (if this is not your parish) for three (3) consecutive Sundays sometime after your canonical interview
* Cost is about P160 for the three Sundays (in Christ the King)
* You will be issued a letter as proof that this has been posted for three consecutive Sundays and you will need to submit this to the church where you will be wed before your wedding date
AT LEAST TWO WEEKS
7. Written permission from the bride's parish priest, if she is not a parishioner at the church where you will be wed
8. Your officiating priest's name, license number (to show that he is authorized to perform weddings) and its expiry date, if he is a guest priest
9. List of principal sponsors, including addresses of one male and one female principal sponsor
10. List of songs for the ceremony
JUSME QUE DAMI NAMANG ABUBOT. AKALA KO BA ANG PAGPAPAKASAL EH LALAGAY KA NA SA TAHIMIK? BAKA LALAGAY KA SA LUPA SA DAMI NG ABUBOT MONG GAGAWIN PA. CHERVA.
eto naman nahanap ko kung papaksal ka sa huwes. for filipinos ha? by a certain lawyer naman ito galing.
Application for a Philippine Marriage License
Marriage License: a requirement for either a Civil or Church wedding to be held in the Philippines. The Application Form for a marriage license must be secured at the Local Civil Registrar from the city, town or municipality where either the bride or the groom habitually resides. The personal appearance of those getting married is required in applying for a marriage license.
Each of the contracting parties shall file separately a sworn application for each license with the proper local civil registrar. Philippine law prescribes a ten-day waiting period from the filing of the Application to the issuance of the marriage license. The license is valid for 120 days from date of issuance and may be used anywhere in the Philippines.
At the time the contracting parties appear to file their application for a Marriage License to the local civil registrar, he or she must also submit the following supporting documents:
1. Birth Certificate - Certified True Copy required of each the contracting parties with the respective registry number. This document is issued by the National Statistics Office (NSO).
NOTE: NSO now provides a web service which accepts online application for copies of birth and marriage certificates. It is called the e-Census, a web facility aimed to provide Filipinos within and outside the country an alternative means in applying for copies of their civil registry documents. It also has a 24-7 hotline called the NSO Helpline Plus with telephone no. (632)737.1111. You could also reach them via email through: e-census.info@mail.census.gov.ph
2. Parents' Consent (for 18-21 years old) or Parent's Advice (for 21-25 years old): Under Philippine law, the legal age for marriage is 18. If the contracting parties are between the ages of 18 and 21, they must present written consent to the marriage from their father, mother or legal guardian. While any contracting party between the age of 22 and 25 must present written parental advice, i.e., a written indication that the parents are aware of the couple's intent to marry. Read Parental Consent vs. Parental Advice for a detailed discussion on the difference between the two terms.
3. Certificate of Attendance in a pre-marital counseling and family planning seminar conducted by the Division of Maternal and Child Health at the Municipal/City Hall in the same municipality or city where the contracting parties applied for the marriage license.
FOR FOREIGNERS: Philippine law requires a citizen or subject of a foreign country to obtain a Certificate of Legal Capacity to Contract Marriage. It is issued by the diplomatic or consular offices of his or her country, prior to the issuance of a marriage license in the Philippines. This serves as a clearance or permit from the consul as an actual proof of the subject’s civil status and his/her eligibility for marriage.
i thought that having a civil marriage will lessen the "problems" youre going to have since there will be lesser "abubots" like wala na gowns and all - but i was wrong. very, very wrong. well at least mas mura yung gagastusin mo diba? ehe
entering that wedding phase maybe exciting -like planning for the venue of the reception and honeymoon, or the choosing of which cake to use, or the color motif if black or red or orange or pale rose- but for me, im not really that excited but rather nervous of (if ever ill be marrying). im scared about the future - if my future hubby (if there will be) will leave me, if our daily income will fit our future expenses, if ill be able to give what is right and good for my future children (if there will be any).
magkano na kaya ang gagastusin ko sa tuition fee ng magiging anak ko neto after more than a decade? anu na kaya ang maibibigay ko sa kanya kung magkakaron man siya ng luho? nakupo wag naman sana. :D
sa ngayon, enjoy ko muna pagkabatang isip ko. masyado pang masaya ang mundo, wag muna magmadali. :)
