icecream
are you familiar with the song of Lindsay Lohan, Confessions of a Broken Heart ? - well the song is about her father, i dont know their story but yesterday while we were at the counselling this song is playing in my head.
I never expect something like that.
I thought by doing so,it'll be clear for us...that somehow it'll alleviate the bitterness inside our home and can bring peace ( even in its smallest measurement ) - well at least mother was able to make herself clear about the things that she complains about father and my stepbrother. There were some changes already when we got home.
Pride is still in the air.
The counselor (Mrs. Jinky) and my parents spent about 2 hours and few minutes while I was just outside waiting for them and reading my book ( and texting a very good friend of mine, June (he's the brother i never had ). It was depressing.
I can sense my father's unwillingness to solve our family problem. He was somewhat agitated and cannot speak in a calm manner. He would raise his voice once a while. He would laugh sarcastically and those silly smiles - aahh you wouldnt want to see those facial expressions being presented to your mother and someone who may ( or may not ) have the authority to rule over.
He even condemn God for everything that's going on with his life.
It was a little embarrassing but this is part of reality - i'd say its my world.
Mother, as usual was weeping but so far I see her fighting for her right. SHE's THE WIFE. She got every right to get a lot of respect from her husband and his son. After everything that she's done.
i've been wanting to put these all in our backs and just move on with our lives, after all I grew up without my father and a brother...but i cannot do it on my own. I have to make sure that my mom is moving forward too, but i think she's having a hard time doing that. Me, my sister,our relatives and her friends had been telling her to move on, let go and make herself beautiful. After all she's not the one who messed up. She'll get good karma in the end.
The counselor talked to me as well. She realized how hard it is to make my father realized these awful things that's been going on.Its kinda difficult to make him understand that he brought all these humiliation by himself. i do understand that his life is so different when he was still in the U.S but then he's been here in the Philippines for almost 4 yrs, when will he ever realized that his life is totally different now.He's not used to having a low income,he's not used to living in a house with a "family". He cannot accept the fact that he cant buy everything and anything that he wants all the time. Maybe he used to have a luxurious life in the U.S. I cant tell.
And he doesnt know how to raise his kid. How dare he tell his son to fight back? I heard him say this "matuto ka ng lumaban", to whom? to my mother? That's his wife, the woman who accepted him after all these years. Who suffered much and still suffering because of him. The woman who raised his 2 daughters after leaving them behind. The woman who took care of his son, his son from a different woman and treated him like her own. She swallowed every bit of pride that she has. Yet,she still love him, she still looks at him as her husband. The man whom she made a vow to and promised that she will love him for the rest of her life.
i dont hate my father, i do not despise him, im just, broken hearted with everything that's going on. He is after all the other person responsible for my existence ( and he gave me a nice name )
I believe everything happens for a reason...no matter how painful this may seem, this shouldnt let us down. God doesnt give us trials that we cant handle.
This serves as a lesson for every member of our family.An inspiration or a guide for me so I wont experience the same thing. I think we're not learning all at the same time since we do have "different level of understanding". Some of us understands the lesson right away and some of us dont.
Ok,let's cut the drama here. I've had enough.
Here's my latest favorite application in FB and my friend's comments really made me laugh.hehe.
my friends know me better than i thought,except for that "wholesome" and "good girl" part - yikes!
enihooos - gotta go back watching Gossip Girl season 3
oh about the title, it seems irrelevant with my entry but im really really craving for icecream, especially when im sad and disappointed, and whenever my visitor's coming. it'll definitely put a smile on my cute face (toinks) hahahaha.i just had one, the tililing icecream, the one i promised to Bong, well in due time my friend.
havent seen New Moon yet :(
xoxo
I never expect something like that.
I thought by doing so,it'll be clear for us...that somehow it'll alleviate the bitterness inside our home and can bring peace ( even in its smallest measurement ) - well at least mother was able to make herself clear about the things that she complains about father and my stepbrother. There were some changes already when we got home.
Pride is still in the air.
The counselor (Mrs. Jinky) and my parents spent about 2 hours and few minutes while I was just outside waiting for them and reading my book ( and texting a very good friend of mine, June (he's the brother i never had ). It was depressing.
I can sense my father's unwillingness to solve our family problem. He was somewhat agitated and cannot speak in a calm manner. He would raise his voice once a while. He would laugh sarcastically and those silly smiles - aahh you wouldnt want to see those facial expressions being presented to your mother and someone who may ( or may not ) have the authority to rule over.
He even condemn God for everything that's going on with his life.
It was a little embarrassing but this is part of reality - i'd say its my world.
Mother, as usual was weeping but so far I see her fighting for her right. SHE's THE WIFE. She got every right to get a lot of respect from her husband and his son. After everything that she's done.
i've been wanting to put these all in our backs and just move on with our lives, after all I grew up without my father and a brother...but i cannot do it on my own. I have to make sure that my mom is moving forward too, but i think she's having a hard time doing that. Me, my sister,our relatives and her friends had been telling her to move on, let go and make herself beautiful. After all she's not the one who messed up. She'll get good karma in the end.
The counselor talked to me as well. She realized how hard it is to make my father realized these awful things that's been going on.Its kinda difficult to make him understand that he brought all these humiliation by himself. i do understand that his life is so different when he was still in the U.S but then he's been here in the Philippines for almost 4 yrs, when will he ever realized that his life is totally different now.He's not used to having a low income,he's not used to living in a house with a "family". He cannot accept the fact that he cant buy everything and anything that he wants all the time. Maybe he used to have a luxurious life in the U.S. I cant tell.
And he doesnt know how to raise his kid. How dare he tell his son to fight back? I heard him say this "matuto ka ng lumaban", to whom? to my mother? That's his wife, the woman who accepted him after all these years. Who suffered much and still suffering because of him. The woman who raised his 2 daughters after leaving them behind. The woman who took care of his son, his son from a different woman and treated him like her own. She swallowed every bit of pride that she has. Yet,she still love him, she still looks at him as her husband. The man whom she made a vow to and promised that she will love him for the rest of her life.
i dont hate my father, i do not despise him, im just, broken hearted with everything that's going on. He is after all the other person responsible for my existence ( and he gave me a nice name )
I believe everything happens for a reason...no matter how painful this may seem, this shouldnt let us down. God doesnt give us trials that we cant handle.
This serves as a lesson for every member of our family.An inspiration or a guide for me so I wont experience the same thing. I think we're not learning all at the same time since we do have "different level of understanding". Some of us understands the lesson right away and some of us dont.
Ok,let's cut the drama here. I've had enough.
Here's my latest favorite application in FB and my friend's comments really made me laugh.hehe.
my friends know me better than i thought,except for that "wholesome" and "good girl" part - yikes!
enihooos - gotta go back watching Gossip Girl season 3
oh about the title, it seems irrelevant with my entry but im really really craving for icecream, especially when im sad and disappointed, and whenever my visitor's coming. it'll definitely put a smile on my cute face (toinks) hahahaha.i just had one, the tililing icecream, the one i promised to Bong, well in due time my friend.
havent seen New Moon yet :(
xoxo