18 years old is the legal drinking age. Drink moderately.

boredom..

21-Dec-2008 , 10:26
kakauwi ko lng ngaun from a long evening of eating, gossip and walking..  nabored kasi ako knina and i wanted to go out, the only problem is that wala akong pwedeng makasama kasi everyone that i know here in manila has plans for today, except for me..  yeah.. boring life ko..  i know that.. so wat i did earlier is to surf and watch video streams of my fave animes..  then my former officemate ping me.. naisip ko na malamang bored din cia, so inaya ko cia na gumala.. then he agreed.. so we went to a mall para magpalipas ng oras.. may ksama din kami isa pang gurl, project mate ko cia pro ngaun ko pa lng makaksama.. she's nice though at nagkasundo nman kami..

we went to a mall then decided to check out the light parade.. after the parade, we ate at kalye juan..  ang sarap ng food.. grabe.. the sinigang was awesome and the sisig ang laing was great..grabe.. it was all worth it.. busog tlga kame.. di lang kain ang ginawa ko, lamon tlga.. to the max..

after eating we went to flipbykes flatmaster 2k8.. hanep, galeng ng mga bikers.. as in.. doing their stunts, flipping their bikes.. grabe, i was amazed.. cool talaga.. and i envy them, kasi si ako marunong magbike..

after that nagikot ikot kami sa seaside.. walking endlessly.. lakas lng hanggat may lupa.. then we decided to go back to the mall, kasi gusto tumingin ng kasama ko ng stuff for xmas.. and ng mga damit sa kamiseta.. so lakad lang kmi sa mall.. pinagod nmin mga sarili namin..

pmunta kmi sa all flip flops at nagulat ako kasi may pila pala sa labas.. di ka pwedeng pumsok agad.. kelngan mong pumila and wait for your turn.. so ndi na lng kmi tumuloy sa all flip flops..

after more walk eh narealize nmin na di pa kmi nagdedesert.. so we searched for the nearesr krispy kreme.. meji tricky hanapin ung krispy kreme lalo na at di ka familiar sa mall..  well, buti na lng nkita din nmin cia.. i got raspberry chiller and glazed donut.. yum! yum! instant sugar rush..  i'm happy again..  hehe..

past 11pm when we decided to go home na since late na.. so were in search for a cab around the mall area and unfortunately wala kaming nakuha.. so we took a bus instead and got off in boni.. since dun na ung place ko and dun na lng maghhintay ng cab ung dlawa kong kasama..

basically, 'twas a very long and tiring day.. pero im happy na sinamahan nila ako ng magubos ng oras.. totoo.. gusto ko lang tlga eh magubos ng oras sa labas, ayoko dito sa bahay..  yokong mag-isa, gusto ko me kasamang gumimik at mag liwaliw sa kung saan saan..

pro at the end of the day eto ko nagbblog na.. starting to feel bored again.. haaii..  i'm going to sleep na after this para di ako makaramdam ng boredom..  haaii.. bkit ganito buhay ko? wlang xcitement..  tsk tsk.. 


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realization

17-Dec-2008 , 11:45
while rotting in my bed and talking to GOD.. yeah, i prayed hard coz I can't bear the pain that i'm feeling and I know only he can help me.. i just realized that i'm really tanga.. though i've been saying it often to myself that i'm tanga, pro knina ko lang narealize that I am really TANGA..

so I gathered all my feelings and my thoughts and i came up with a decision that will definitely change my life..

i'll be moving forward.. this time, it's for real..

i think i've already reached my limit, he pushed me so hard that I dont want to be pushed by anyone anymore..  I realized that my whole life depends on him, my life revolves around him.. he's the center of my life.. and now that will change..

i'll be loving more of myself.. he'll just be one of the star in my universe.. i won't care for someone who doesn't care about me.. luge ata ako nun..

if he chose to be with me, then that's fine.. if he doesn't, then so be it.. magsama clang dlawa..

naaus ko na ang buhay nia.. un lang nman ung role ko.. and i guess i passed with flying colors kasi i can say na sobrang maaus na tlga ang kalagayan nia kc nakatapos na cia ng skul and ngaun may work na cia..

di ko pwedeng hayaan na mging ganun lang ang buhay ko, always second.. i don't deserve that, kc i should always be the first.. LOL..

whew!. nagising na c sakura sa katotohanan..

at magccmula na ngaun ang bagong buhay ko..

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update about my last blog entry..

13-Dec-2008 , 10:18
nagtext na cia.. nakatulog daw cia...

taena.. badtrip pa din ako sa kanya.. bahala cia..

inuubos nia tlga ang pacencia ko.. 

at kapag naubos ang pacencia ko, bahala cia..

mawawala ako sa buhay nia..

it will be as if i never existed. magsama cla ng p*@#$%S niyang girlfriend..


badtrip talaga ako!!!

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promises.. they are meant to be broken..

13-Dec-2008 , 09:56
it's weekend and i told my "ex" na magkita kami kasi ndi nman kmi nagkikita kapag weekdays kasi ndi tugma ang sched namin.. work ko is from 9am to 6pm and xa is 3pm to 12mn..  cla ni "A" ang nagkikita kasi preho lng clang taga-cubao.. kaya i demanded na kahit man lng wikend eh sana kami ang magksama..

usapan namin is 8am sana eh andito na cia sa bahay..  7am pa lang eh gcing na ko to prepare, ayaw kasi nun na magulo bahay kapag dumadalaw cia.. 7am pa lng eh magkatext na kmi.. pinarepair ko kasi fone ko sa daddy nia, so we're talking about my phone.. kung gusto ko ba daw ba na pumunta ng quiapo to buy a new cellphone housing and other stuff.. i told him na pass muna, yokong pmunta ng quiapo today.. di ko feel..

so sabi nia eh dadating cia ng 8am, xa daw ang bahala.. time check, 10:01 am na and wala pa din cia.. i texted him at around 8:30am, i asked him kung asan na cia and sagot lng nia is 'd2 p..txt kta pag paalis n q..' nabadtrip ako.. kasi sbi nia 8am eh nsa bahay na cia so i replied to him 'ok. cge.' I texted him again at around 9:10am, eto text ko "tanghali ka na. haai"  wala pa rin akong narereceive na reply from him up to this time..

nakakabadtrip talaga.. feeling ko kasi during those times na ndi cia nagtetext sa akin eh kasama nia c A at ndi nia cnsabi sa akin.. kasi ganun ginagawa nia kapag nagkikita cla.. dahil ndi alam ni A na we're still together.. so kpag magkikita cla eh he would text me telling me not to text him kasi magkikita nga cla ni A.. at ako naman eh sunod sa gusto nia, i wouldn't text him.. hihintaying ko muna na cia unang magtext.. tanga ko talaga.. (now, how many times have i told that to myself already?!  na tanga ko..)

haaii.. feeling ko nakipagkita cia talaga dun kasi preho lng naman clang taga-cubao eh.. badtrip.. usapan is 8am pro wala pa cia.. nappraning na ko kaiisip kung mgkasama ba cla o nde.. i hate this feeling.. parang nabulag ka temporarily.. blank lang lhat, di mo alam kung anong nangyayari.. shet.. i hate this fucking life..  

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ang santol ndi mgiging mangga..

9-Dec-2008 , 01:55
katatapos ko lng magupdate ng rakista profile ko.. nagupload ako ng pics ko yesterday sa car show..  ok naman ung nangyari nung sunday wid my 'ex'.. magkasama kmi the whole day.. nga pala, monthsary nila khapon ni 'A' pro since he promised me na mkikipagkita cia at ssamahan nia ako this sunday eh ako sinamahan nman nia ako..

we just watched pacquia-dela hoya fight.. we eat lunch together at my place with my utol.. after the boxing event eh we went to the car show.. i taught him how to use my D-SLR cam.. fast-learner nman xa and after a few minutes eh master na nia ung mga function per buttons sa cam ko.. mgaganda ung kuha nia ng pics.. i was impressed, bka nsa dugo nia ang pgiging photographer.. 

all in all i was happy.. im happy that we've spent the whole day together.. puro kulitan, tawanan.. may konting lungkot kasi i can't help but feel sorry for myself everytime he mentions 'A' in front of me..

lgi nman nia sa aking cnsbi na he loves me and he's findang way pra mabreak nia ung girl.. gusto nia eh kpag nkipagbreak cia eh ung girl ung reason.. nagiipon lng daw cia ng reason at meron na ciang isa.. hndi daw kasi nakikinig ung girl sa knya..  laging pinagpipilitan ung gusto nia kahit ayaw ni 'ex'.. mejo mhigpit kasi tong c 'ex', not that strict pro gusto nia eh organized ang buhay mo.. eh ung c 'A' eh student pa at mahilig maglakwatsa.. kya aun napapagalitan lgi ni 'ex' kapag ndi nag-aaral or not doing her assignments.. 
lgi ko nmang cnsbi ke 'ex', kung ganun na tlga ung girl from the very beginning eh ndi nia kayang baguhin un..  sbi nia eh gusto pa rin daw niang itry na baguhin..
cge, try nia.. pro 20+ years na ung habit nung girl, i mean nasa dugo na nia un.. sa sistema nia.. ndi un mbabago after a couple of weeks..
pro mapilit c 'ex'.. eh di go!! baguhin nia kung kaya nia..

haaii... 'A' is my exact opposite.. as in.. well, bsta msaya ko nung araw na un.. that's enuf for now.. hanggang kelan ko kaya kakayanin ung ganito??

as long as i can endure the pain cguro.. balang araw e mgiging numb nman cguro.. i wont feel the pain anymore and if that time comes kakayanin ko na ciang iwanan.. tumawa habang iniiwan cia.. pro sa ngaun.. ok muna ko na ksama cia kahit umiiyak.. T_T 

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