18 years old is the legal drinking age. Drink moderately.

rei's shitty damn life

Huwag Mag isip, Matulog lang. (Don't think, Just Sleep)

{ 07:22 PM, Jan. 10, 2010 } { 0 comments } { Link }

MARCH 2011 is more than a year away but whenever I think of my OJT, I cram. When the word graduation comes to my thought I feel somewhat a relief but when I hear the word JOB, I freak out. LOL. My mom said if I don't like to work yet I can study another course, most people know I'd like that but I dunno they say I'm a BUM. But if mom agrees that I can choose between studying music, fashion designing and photography either of those courses, I'd go for it. But those courses are as expensive as studying Culinary Arts for almost 4 years. So I think I'll pass this time. So because of thinking a lot, I can't sleep LOL. MY mind is crowded with plans for my future, some pain and questions. PLANS, unlike my plans with Marco in my life before which was before I thought we'd live it up but yet 3 years of relationship all gone to waste. LOVE? I don't think this is the time to fall for someone and I tend to be alone now. Tears.. Are falling like waterfalls do from my eyes. Maybe because I need to cry all the pain buried in my heart. From Marco's remains, problems and because of friends who listens to you before but now leaves and gets mad at you. Sometimes I think of giving up because it's the easiest option but yet if I give up I'll regret things. So instead I bury my head in my pillows at night and lessen the burden upon crying. Lack of people to talk to and lack of trust to give people but most of all, lack of people who will listen, understand and stay. As I said earlier, I tend to be alone, I am traumatized of trusting people and being in love because I'd get disappointed again and heartbroken. Before I used to trust a lot of people but they failed me and did things that made me depressed. QUESTIONS are floating in my mind. I asked someone before "Will you stay even though I'm the worst?" that someone answered a yes but doesn't understand my circumstances so that someone left me behind. REALITY and CHANGES, I must face them. To all my friends (to those people who still cares and stands me even though I make mistakes) and to those who think they can be my friend: I'll ask you all one thing "In 10 years from now will you still be there? Will we still all be friends?" (To all of you, you can leave a comment and I'll know who'll I'd expect to still have as a friend in 10 years) It sucks when you have problems, and you can't open up because before you speak words from your mouth, your eyes start to speak as it let go of tears.It sucks when no one can understands you, But it's the worst when you feel pain, depression, doubt, stress, heart ache, confusion and regret all at the same time and all you can do is write this and cry your heart out. BIPOLARITY, IT SUCKS. P.S. DON'T BASH ME. COMMENT ONLY IF YOU UNDERSTAND HOW I FEEL AND IF YOU CARE.

tumblr

{ 11:51 PM, Nov. 29, 2009 } { 0 comments } { Link }

I recently made a tumblr account (rei-unwanted.tumblr.com), another outlet where I can add shits and thoughts. and yeah for those people who have tumblr accounts follow wahaha.

THINGS TO BE DONE(for me to step a foot at USA)

{ 09:11 PM, Nov. 25, 2009 } { 0 comments } { Link }

SO yeah PEOPLE, I'm not a serious type of person, I often take things careless because I don't wanna be pressured but since this post is about my career and guess what I'm cramming like a loco XD. MY mom said I have her fighting spirit, but I guess I also got her cramming thing lol. But anyway it's not my first time facing a Consul, since I had gone through an interview last February and yeah I'm still upset, yeah it's my first time alone on an interview GAWD more cramming XD. But before that I still have to conquer travelling from Pasay to UP Diliman for a couple of times a week starting next week I guess. I need lots of patience and if I can't handle it just expect me to give this opportunity up but yeah I'M PURSUING THIS SO IT'S KINDA IMPOSSIBLE THAT I'LL GIVE IN. ALSO, starting today I'M DOING A PRACTICE IN SPEAKING ENGLISH SO YEAH YOU GUESSED IT I'M GOING TO USE ENGLISH MOST OF THE TIME. XD and before anything else this is the shit:(LOL more on next entries and please wish me my best of luck :) ) GENERAL APPLICATION PROCESS FLOW Following is the general process for joining any FPI overseas program. This will vary depending on your chosen program. FPI will guide you step-by-step on the process and will provide all necessary assistance you need. • Submit filled up preliminary application form together with your resume • Attend the orientation with your parents or guardian • Take the Language, Skills, Logic & Reasoning and Personality Assessment tests • Attend financial briefing with parents or guardian • Pay the program fee deposit • Submit all the requirements • Wait for the Host Interview Schedule; get accepted • Wait for confirmation of placement • Sign the Training Plan or Job Specific • Pay the remaining balance of program fee • Wait for the Visa Documents • Prepare for embassy interview • Apply to the Embassy; get visa • Make travel arrangements (must have approval of FPI); FPI sends arrival information to partner • Attend required pre-departure orientations • Departure

pagod, hirap, puyat, gastos at lungkot

{ 05:34 PM, Nov. 3, 2009 } { 0 comments } { Link }

PAGOD- sa culinary subjects. HIRAP- personal to wahaha. challenge :) PUYAT- dahil sa insomia ko :)) GASTOS- dahil ke tuition, ingredients, function at daily expenses FYI di ako nagloload ngayon wahaha kasi malaki na gastos saka di na kasama sa luho ko yung pagtetext LUNGKOT- madami akong namimiss tulad nung aso kong si mamon xc, yung luwag ng sched ko dati at mga bagay bagay na di ko magawa ngayon kasi busy mas mabuti nang busy at walang lablayp at baka mag pass na talaga ako sa lablayp, nakakasawa umintindi tas di ka naman iniintindi. mas okay na yung oras ko itutulog ko nalang o kaya ilalaan ko sa pag nenet. siguro ito na yung papuntang peak ng pag aayos ko ng buhay ko na dapat nung 2k6 ko sinimulan. sana hindi ko iregret mga ginagawa ko ngayon.

my 3rd year in rakista.com(repost from my rakista.com blog)

{ 05:18 PM, Oct. 15, 2009 } { 0 comments } { Link }

nung august pa actually anniv ko dito sa site but since I was busy with school, I lack time to be online here. imagine standing in the kitchen for almost 10 hours and yer totally wasted when you go home at 8pm then all you want to do is lay down and sleep in your bed because you're totally damn wasted and tired. well some people don't really understand how hard it is to be a culinary arts student. I am terribly broke when it comes to money now because of I have to buy ingredients for my classes, which usually costs almost 500 up each day. sa sobrang sipag ko pumasok nirarayuma na yata ako nasakit kasi likod ko kakatayo. tapos madami pa galit na di ako nagpapakita. guys my career is important, napakaimportante para sakin nito. gustong gusto ko magpakita sa inyo pero wala ako oras at minsan wala na rin akong pera para panggala sana kahit pagod na pagod na ako pupuntahan ko kayo. alam nyo minsan sa sobrang gusto ko kayong makita naiiyak nalang ako at nasasaktan ako na ignore nyo ako pag online ako kasi grabe yun nalang yung time na nag online ako tas ignore pa ako. well hindi naman ganun ka big deal sakin pero sana naman walang nagbabago sa dating mga napagsamahan. salamat din sa mga nakakaintindi pa sakin. siguro itong entry na to may sama ng loob pero sana hindi dahil sa pag aaral ko o dahil sa ganito rason mawala friendship ko sa mga galit at may tampo sakin. i expect more drama and madaming lalo magalit sa akin sa taong ito at sana umabot pa ako ng mas madami pang taon dito kahit hindi na ako pansinin ng tuluyan ng ibang dating kaclose ko. sana din sa 2k11 matuloy na plano kong magbukas ng bar at sana sa 2k10 maluwag na schedule ko para wala ng magtampo. hindi ako nagddrama nagsasabi lang ako ng TOTOO. salamat sa 3 taong pagsasama natin rakista.com mahal na mahal ko ang site na to at mga kapatid na turing ko sa mga nakilala ko dito sana ganun din sila sakin. salamat salamat. (tang'na naiyak ako X'D)

I'm going to delete my music blog.

{ 02:50 AM, Oct. 11, 2009 } { 0 comments } { Link }

for reasons that i can't update it that much. in return I promise to blog more often. I'm not yet finished writing new chaps of nobela yet so please wait. tinatamad lang ako ulit. wala na kasi ako new sounds para maganahan ako puro nobody naririnig ko at nakakapraning, kaya yung isang chap yun yung laman. haha

remaking some chapters of nobela

{ 05:33 PM, Oct. 5, 2009 } { 0 comments } { Link }

dahil sa sinisipag ako magsulat ngayon magkakaupdate ang nobela blog up to chap 5 (depends on the mood XD) pero nasimulan ko naman na yung iba kaya mga 3 chaps mapopost ko. may inaalis lang ako. tas nagdadagdag ako ng iba pang experience.

so sana basahin nyo =)

tangang bathtub

{ 02:52 AM, Sep. 15, 2009 } { 0 comments } { Link }

almost everyone on my facebook account knows what happened to my phone and for those who don't know yet lumangoy po sa bathtub ang 5310 expressmusic ko nung nasa subic ako. actually by accident sya at wala ako kaalam alam nandun pala sya sa bulsa ng pantalon ko so dahil akala ko nasa bag ko o nasa kama namin ni vane (my friend). so naligo ako shower ginamit ko but since bulok yung hotel na nakuha medyo nagkatubig sa bathtub at ayun natapos ako maligo nagbihis at kinuha ko mga gamit ko sa sahig dahil taeba naman walang table or sink manlang na pede pagpatungan at maliit yung bathroom na yun. so tinupi ko na yung mga damit ko then kinuha ko pantalon ko at tinupi ko nagulat ako may tumalsik sa bathtub, *CENSORED* alam na nasabi ko nun then kinuha ko bigla at kinalas ko.

so far nagana lahat ng functions except for the memory card, ipapagawa ko palang ulit yun kasi automatic sya power on and out. nakakainis na nakakabaliw kasi napamahal na yung cellphone na yun sakin at dahil hindi sya nun sira wala ako interest na palitan sya but now i dunno if magagawa pa. so i'm looking again for the perfect phone to replace it at alam ko matatagalan yun pagpalit ng cp ko dahil next week mag eenroll na naman ako.

so walang bday bday siguro XC

14 days to go

{ 08:00 PM, Sep. 6, 2009 } { 0 comments } { Link }

haha tatanda na naman ako syet XD

Finals na naman (anu ba naman toh oh)

{ 10:32 PM, Sep. 2, 2009 } { 0 comments } { Link }

18 days before my birthday, pero bago yun nandyan pa ang finals syet naman oh. next week na ata yun at hello 2 linggo lang bakasyon tas pasok agad ba naman oh. I still have 5 semesters to finish my studies including next sem. so esitimated graduation date ko is 2010 err.. oct. yata nakow, pero ok lang yun enjoy naman kahit papaano, lalo na kapag may the bar XD hahaha. masasabi ko sa 1st sem masaya ako kahit na nuknukan ng plastic ang ibang taong mga nakasama ko, sana magbago din sila o kaya sana palabasin nila katarantaduhan ko para tablado sila kasi mahirap na magpigil ng galit XD. haha

sana rin matauhan ang mga nangongodiko at cheaters, haha XD. mas ok na may tres o bumagsak kesa hindi naman utak ginamit mo pagbabayabang mo pa mataas ka kagaguhan din haha XD. sa mga natamaan bahala kayo sa buhay nyo XD

umiiyak na naman pala ako

{ 10:16 PM, Aug. 14, 2009 } { 0 comments } { Link }

Kagabi di ko mapigilan ang mga luhang ayaw ko patuluin noon at bigla silang nagburst out. Hindi ako halos makahinga kagabi, katabi ko ang kapatid ko natulog sa kama ko at habang tulog na tulog sya nakatakip ako ng kumot sa mukha para di nya marinig pag iyak ko. Ngayon narinig ko ang kantang sorry na-pne tumulo ng malabagyo luha ko, naalala ko kanta daw nya yun sakin. Ayun si tanga kasi ako kaya todo iyak. hay balang araw mawawala din yun sana bumilis ang oras para isang araw pagkagisng ko wala ng parte mo na bawas na bawas na. T_T

learning to sing Cinematic's sunrise You told me you loved me

{ 02:08 AM, Aug. 7, 2009 } { 0 comments } { Link }

You said you loved me
More than anyone else could ever know
But now you're leaving
Can't wait to strive to work this out
And I've never been one to brag

The nights get lonely
And all I have left is a memory of you
I tried to say this
But now there's nothing left for me to do
And I've never been one to brag

Please don't go, just stay
I watched with tears in my eyes as you walked away
Miss your voice, and your touch
And if I told you I loved you could that be enough?

An awkward silence
It's been too long since I've heard from you
And I lay sleepless
Knowing that my heart still belongs to you
And I've never been one to brag

Please don't go, just stay
I watched with tears in my eyes as you walked away
Miss your voice, and your touch
And if I told you I loved you could that be enough?

Please don't go, just stay
I watched with tears in my eyes as you walked away
Miss your voice, and your touch
And if I told you I loved you could that be enough?

And tonight I'll stay home and miss you more than you'll ever know

And tonight I'll stay home and miss you more than you'll ever know

And tonight I'll stay home and miss you more than you'll ever know

And tonight I'll stay home and miss you more than you'll ever know

(learning this for the same old reason yeah It's still you and you've hurt me so yet it doesn't matter 'coz it's still the same old story no progression)

49 days before my birthday XD

{ 10:41 PM, Aug. 2, 2009 } { 0 comments } { Link }

yes 49 days before it. i only have 49 days to save money to buy something for myself.
I realized that my bohol-cebu tour was 17 days to go but unfortunately my parents cannot pay instantly, and my mom doesn't want me to go, see offered if you don't join I'll give you 10,000 pesos as your birthday gift.
I asked if I go will the tour be my gift, she said yes, I asked if it's sure she'll give me money she replied yes again. I spent 2 minutes to think and said "I'm not coming XD, I wanna buy an iPod touch XD" it was fine with her so I'm going to bohol-cebu this 20th.

syet tatanda na naman akong malungkot at pagod XD

busy busy busy rei committing on studies to gain achievement due in 10 years

{ 11:46 PM, Jul. 24, 2009 } { 1 comments } { Link }

yeah I'm very very very busy. I swear a lot due because I get easily pissed off by people and because of the stress of my class schedule, but the difference from before and now I'm committing to my studies more to excel and be the best.

I'm planning to join a competition on sept. 25 this year if ever I get in the try-outs to be the representative of our school. I hope I get in

personality issues and things that piss me (err.. I know It's not new)

{ 04:13 PM, Jul. 22, 2009 } { 0 comments } { Link }

What I hate most is when people piss me off and tell something bad about me or my friends or my family. Since high school I've been branded a war freak even though I spend most of my time writing poems and drawing things. I dunno, I think there's no problem with me and many people do agree on that. Anyway most of the people I fought with were people who I'm not really close with, so further explanations says those people have no right to bash me, argue with me and most importantly say bad things about me.

the issue I'm talking about now? I'll keep it for myself but I'll reveal it to anyone who asks XD. haha

I'm not mad or anything. I'm just clarifying my side about it. It's not a big issue 'cuz arguing with non-sense "palengkera" people would drag me down to their level.

As usual I sound mad and very mean haha XD

Recent news about me

{ 10:50 PM, Jul. 14, 2009 } { 0 comments } { Link }

oh well, I've been studying that hard and I go home late because of my schedule. My expenses are quite high since I spend almost 1000 a week for ingredients for my culinary major subjects.

And I have a puppy that looks like a panda hehe.

1st month being a third year student

{ 03:17 AM, Jul. 5, 2009 } { 0 comments } { Link }

it damn sucks 9pm na ako nakakadating ng bahay tapos ang gastos pa nakow jusko kung wala lang akong puso sa profession na pinili ko i might've quited already dahil sobra ang pagod, gastos, sakit ng binti at likod kakatayo ng tig 5-8 hours each laboratory day. grabe so ngayon masasabi ko hindi ko pwedeng gawing laro studies ko dahil terror ang teachers ko.

pero sa totoo lang masaya ako kahit ganun kasi challenge yun eh at kailangan ko din ng development para mahasa ako sa choosen profession ko.

new song for a numb self

{ 11:18 PM, Jun. 26, 2009 } { 0 comments } { Link }

last train home by lost prophets

To every broken heart in here
Love was once a part, but now it's disappeared
She told me that it's all a part of the choices that your making
Even when you think you're right
You have to give to take

But there's still tomorrow
Forget the sorrow
And I can be on the last train home
Watch it pass the day
As it fades away
No more time to care
No more time, today

But we sing
If we're going nowhere
Yeah we sing
If it's not enough
And we sing
Sing without a reason
To ever fall in love

I wonder if you're listening
Picking up on the signals
Sent back from within
Sometimes it feels like I don't really know whats going on
Time and time again it seems like everything is wrong in here

But there's still tomorrow
Forget the sorrow
And I can be on the last train home
Watch it pass the day
As it fades away
No more time to care
No more time, today

But we sing
If we're going nowhere
Yeah we sing
If it's not enough
And we sing
Sing without a reason
To ever fall in love

Well we sing if we're going nowhere
Yeah we sing if it's not enough
And we sing
Sing without a reason to ever fall in love

But we sing
If we're going no where
Yeah we sing
If it's not enough
And we sing
Sing with out a reason to never fall in love
To never fall in love again

(i love this song)

learning to sing a new song and it damn made me cry.

{ 11:47 PM, Jun. 24, 2009 } { 0 comments } { Link }

should've tried harder by hey monday

Some think that they deserve more
Give a little, like it's become a chore
Don't demand things, walk yourself out the door
I fell flat on my face too many times
Left with nothing but some cheap perfume
Now you cry
Now you need me
Now that perfume's not cheap
But i told you

If you wanted to be my only one
If you wanted to see this happen
Maybe you, you should've tried harder
If you thought i would leap into your arms,
everytime i would see your face
Then maybe you, you should've tried harder

Go on, prove it
I'd love to see you try
Convince me that you gave me the world
I tried and tried but you never opened your eyes
You stand tall like you've won some kind of award
But really, i've never seen someone so short
You'd look taller, if you gave me some more
But i told you

If you wanted to be my only one
If you wanted to see this happen
Maybe you, you should've tried harder
If you thought i would leap into your arms, everytime i would see your face
Then maybe you, you should've tried harder

Some think that they deserve more
Give a little bit

If you wanted to be my only one
If you wanted to see this happen
Maybe you, you should've tried harder
If you thought i would leap into your arms,
everytime i would see your face
Then maybe you, you should've tried harder.

(deleting one blog here but will be putting up a new one)

A very weird day

{ 07:00 PM, Jun. 2, 2009 } { 1 comments } { Link }

12nn I walked out the gate of my so called house to enroll myself. People are like always staring at me and then some are smiling while they're looking at me. Maybe because I looked like a lost emo kid again like way back 2k6 before I ever knew Marco. Then my neighbor/childhood friend said "Blooming ha, may date ka?" i replied "WALA, kahit kelan ayoko na ng date".

On school, my dean said "ang ganda ganda mo naman ngayon. mukhang my inspirasyon ah". Sabi ko sa isip ko "langya tong matandang to wala nga nagmamahal sakin puro lahi kami ng matandang dalaga at next na siguro ako dun sa linyang yun" then replied "Thank you po".

Hay.

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