LESSONS LEARNED.
They say that love is ironic; it is the only reason of your happiness yet it still causes you so much pain. It's very sad when two "used to be happy" people break up. Whether it's because of infidelity, miscommunication, differences... It's just the same. Breaking up is indeed hard to do.
Majority of the people that I knew who went into relationships which lead to a painful breakup say that what happened was "probably for the best" or that "I love him/her too much to hurt him/her so I'd rather leave". Yes, I may not know every details of the real cause of their breakups but I somehow find it puzzling to understand why a such dreadful thing could happen when it can be worked out if both parties REALLY want to save their relationship.
I cannot deny the fact that I've also been through a lot of pain in the past. I tried to save every relationship that I had but I guess offering even the greatest love isn't enough to make a person stay. I eventually understood every reason why I went through hardships before I could finally find true happiness. And the happiness that I found is rare; and I am doing my best to do my part in our relationship.
I am sure that some of the ideas that I mentioned earlier might have been irrelevant to what I really want to emphasize in this entry. Haha. So yeah, I am no love guru but I just want to point out a few thoughts on saving a relationship:
*IT'S A MATTER OF GIVE AND TAKE.
- aside from the very obvious fact that it is essential in every relationship to learn how to appreciate things from your partner, giving and taking is vital because this is one way to learn the value of being selfless. It should never be, "You win some, you lose some". Be fair and treasure even the smallest of all efforts by showing your better half the same, or better treatment.
*BE HONEST AND VOCAL.
- when you enter in a relationship, it automatically means that your partner is also now your confidante. Although it is not obligatory to narrate every detail of your life to them, it is important to let them know all the things that you think they SHOULD know. Do not keep your feelings towards your partner to yourself as it could more likely result to a conflict. Let your partner know how you feel, let your partner know what bothers you. Remember that trust is one of the most important ingredients of a relationship.
*UNDERSTAND.
- do not immediately jump to conclusions. You should make it a point to hear your partner's side whatever issues the two of you are handling. Instincts do not work all the time -- it's just paranoia sometimes. Also, do not burst into horrible tantrums when talking. Be calm, reasonable, and considerate. Listen attentively on what one has to say. Some things can be resolved through a heart-to-heart talk.
*LEARN TO ADJUST.
- never ask your partner to change themselves. You must accept their flaws as easily as you accept their bests. Learn to accept them as they are. After all, you loved them for what they were even before your relationship. Learn to adjust from their behavior.
What I've mentioned above were merely my opinions. I have to confess that I break those "rules" more often than I follow it but it is important to have knowledge regarding these things.
Again, I am no love guru nor am a good adviser. I am just applying my thoughts of realization. It scares me to lose the one I love for a shallow reason, so I am doing my best to actually apply all these ideas.
Remember that relationships do not drive down a smooth road. But after all those bumps and humps, somewhere along the way is a road leading to complete bliss. :)