21-Dec-2008
,
10:26
kakauwi ko lng ngaun from a long evening of eating, gossip and walking.. nabored kasi ako knina and i wanted to go out, the only problem is that wala akong pwedeng makasama kasi everyone that i know here in manila has plans for today, except for me.. yeah.. boring life ko.. i know that.. so wat i did earlier is to surf and watch video streams of my fave animes.. then my former officemate ping me.. naisip ko na malamang bored din cia, so inaya ko cia na gumala.. then he agreed.. so we went to a mall para magpalipas ng oras.. may ksama din kami isa pang gurl, project mate ko cia pro ngaun ko pa lng makaksama.. she's nice though at nagkasundo nman kami..
we went to a mall then decided to check out the light parade.. after the parade, we ate at kalye juan.. ang sarap ng food.. grabe.. the sinigang was awesome and the sisig ang laing was great..grabe.. it was all worth it.. busog tlga kame.. di lang kain ang ginawa ko, lamon tlga.. to the max..
after eating we went to flipbykes flatmaster 2k8.. hanep, galeng ng mga bikers.. as in.. doing their stunts, flipping their bikes.. grabe, i was amazed.. cool talaga.. and i envy them, kasi si ako marunong magbike..
after that nagikot ikot kami sa seaside.. walking endlessly.. lakas lng hanggat may lupa.. then we decided to go back to the mall, kasi gusto tumingin ng kasama ko ng stuff for xmas.. and ng mga damit sa kamiseta.. so lakad lang kmi sa mall.. pinagod nmin mga sarili namin..
pmunta kmi sa all flip flops at nagulat ako kasi may pila pala sa labas.. di ka pwedeng pumsok agad.. kelngan mong pumila and wait for your turn.. so ndi na lng kmi tumuloy sa all flip flops..
after more walk eh narealize nmin na di pa kmi nagdedesert.. so we searched for the nearesr krispy kreme.. meji tricky hanapin ung krispy kreme lalo na at di ka familiar sa mall.. well, buti na lng nkita din nmin cia.. i got raspberry chiller and glazed donut.. yum! yum! instant sugar rush.. i'm happy again.. hehe..
past 11pm when we decided to go home na since late na.. so were in search for a cab around the mall area and unfortunately wala kaming nakuha.. so we took a bus instead and got off in boni.. since dun na ung place ko and dun na lng maghhintay ng cab ung dlawa kong kasama..
basically, 'twas a very long and tiring day.. pero im happy na sinamahan nila ako ng magubos ng oras.. totoo.. gusto ko lang tlga eh magubos ng oras sa labas, ayoko dito sa bahay.. yokong mag-isa, gusto ko me kasamang gumimik at mag liwaliw sa kung saan saan..
pro at the end of the day eto ko nagbblog na.. starting to feel bored again.. haaii.. i'm going to sleep na after this para di ako makaramdam ng boredom.. haaii.. bkit ganito buhay ko? wlang xcitement.. tsk tsk..
17-Dec-2008
,
11:45
while rotting in my bed and talking to GOD.. yeah, i prayed hard coz I can't bear the pain that i'm feeling and I know only he can help me.. i just realized that i'm really tanga.. though i've been saying it often to myself that i'm tanga, pro knina ko lang narealize that I am really TANGA..
so I gathered all my feelings and my thoughts and i came up with a decision that will definitely change my life..
i'll be moving forward.. this time, it's for real..
i think i've already reached my limit, he pushed me so hard that I dont want to be pushed by anyone anymore.. I realized that my whole life depends on him, my life revolves around him.. he's the center of my life.. and now that will change..
i'll be loving more of myself.. he'll just be one of the star in my universe.. i won't care for someone who doesn't care about me.. luge ata ako nun..
if he chose to be with me, then that's fine.. if he doesn't, then so be it.. magsama clang dlawa..
naaus ko na ang buhay nia.. un lang nman ung role ko.. and i guess i passed with flying colors kasi i can say na sobrang maaus na tlga ang kalagayan nia kc nakatapos na cia ng skul and ngaun may work na cia..
di ko pwedeng hayaan na mging ganun lang ang buhay ko, always second.. i don't deserve that, kc i should always be the first.. LOL..
whew!. nagising na c sakura sa katotohanan..
at magccmula na ngaun ang bagong buhay ko..
13-Dec-2008
,
10:18
nagtext na cia.. nakatulog daw cia...
taena.. badtrip pa din ako sa kanya.. bahala cia..
inuubos nia tlga ang pacencia ko..
at kapag naubos ang pacencia ko, bahala cia..
mawawala ako sa buhay nia..
it will be as if i never existed. magsama cla ng p*@#$%S niyang girlfriend..
badtrip talaga ako!!!
13-Dec-2008
,
09:56
it's weekend and i told my "ex" na magkita kami kasi ndi nman kmi nagkikita kapag weekdays kasi ndi tugma ang sched namin.. work ko is from 9am to 6pm and xa is 3pm to 12mn.. cla ni "A" ang nagkikita kasi preho lng clang taga-cubao.. kaya i demanded na kahit man lng wikend eh sana kami ang magksama..
usapan namin is 8am sana eh andito na cia sa bahay.. 7am pa lang eh gcing na ko to prepare, ayaw kasi nun na magulo bahay kapag dumadalaw cia.. 7am pa lng eh magkatext na kmi.. pinarepair ko kasi fone ko sa daddy nia, so we're talking about my phone.. kung gusto ko ba daw ba na pumunta ng quiapo to buy a new cellphone housing and other stuff.. i told him na pass muna, yokong pmunta ng quiapo today.. di ko feel..
so sabi nia eh dadating cia ng 8am, xa daw ang bahala.. time check, 10:01 am na and wala pa din cia.. i texted him at around 8:30am, i asked him kung asan na cia and sagot lng nia is 'd2 p..txt kta pag paalis n q..' nabadtrip ako.. kasi sbi nia 8am eh nsa bahay na cia so i replied to him 'ok. cge.' I texted him again at around 9:10am, eto text ko "tanghali ka na. haai" wala pa rin akong narereceive na reply from him up to this time..
nakakabadtrip talaga.. feeling ko kasi during those times na ndi cia nagtetext sa akin eh kasama nia c A at ndi nia cnsabi sa akin.. kasi ganun ginagawa nia kapag nagkikita cla.. dahil ndi alam ni A na we're still together.. so kpag magkikita cla eh he would text me telling me not to text him kasi magkikita nga cla ni A.. at ako naman eh sunod sa gusto nia, i wouldn't text him.. hihintaying ko muna na cia unang magtext.. tanga ko talaga.. (now, how many times have i told that to myself already?! na tanga ko..)
haaii.. feeling ko nakipagkita cia talaga dun kasi preho lng naman clang taga-cubao eh.. badtrip.. usapan is 8am pro wala pa cia.. nappraning na ko kaiisip kung mgkasama ba cla o nde.. i hate this feeling.. parang nabulag ka temporarily.. blank lang lhat, di mo alam kung anong nangyayari.. shet.. i hate this fucking life..
9-Dec-2008
,
01:55
katatapos ko lng magupdate ng rakista profile ko.. nagupload ako ng pics ko yesterday sa car show.. ok naman ung nangyari nung sunday wid my 'ex'.. magkasama kmi the whole day.. nga pala, monthsary nila khapon ni 'A' pro since he promised me na mkikipagkita cia at ssamahan nia ako this sunday eh ako sinamahan nman nia ako..
we just watched pacquia-dela hoya fight.. we eat lunch together at my place with my utol.. after the boxing event eh we went to the car show.. i taught him how to use my D-SLR cam.. fast-learner nman xa and after a few minutes eh master na nia ung mga function per buttons sa cam ko.. mgaganda ung kuha nia ng pics.. i was impressed, bka nsa dugo nia ang pgiging photographer..
all in all i was happy.. im happy that we've spent the whole day together.. puro kulitan, tawanan.. may konting lungkot kasi i can't help but feel sorry for myself everytime he mentions 'A' in front of me..
lgi nman nia sa aking cnsbi na he loves me and he's findang way pra mabreak nia ung girl.. gusto nia eh kpag nkipagbreak cia eh ung girl ung reason.. nagiipon lng daw cia ng reason at meron na ciang isa.. hndi daw kasi nakikinig ung girl sa knya.. laging pinagpipilitan ung gusto nia kahit ayaw ni 'ex'.. mejo mhigpit kasi tong c 'ex', not that strict pro gusto nia eh organized ang buhay mo.. eh ung c 'A' eh student pa at mahilig maglakwatsa.. kya aun napapagalitan lgi ni 'ex' kapag ndi nag-aaral or not doing her assignments..
lgi ko nmang cnsbi ke 'ex', kung ganun na tlga ung girl from the very beginning eh ndi nia kayang baguhin un.. sbi nia eh gusto pa rin daw niang itry na baguhin..
cge, try nia.. pro 20+ years na ung habit nung girl, i mean nasa dugo na nia un.. sa sistema nia.. ndi un mbabago after a couple of weeks..
pro mapilit c 'ex'.. eh di go!! baguhin nia kung kaya nia..
haaii... 'A' is my exact opposite.. as in.. well, bsta msaya ko nung araw na un.. that's enuf for now.. hanggang kelan ko kaya kakayanin ung ganito??
as long as i can endure the pain cguro.. balang araw e mgiging numb nman cguro.. i wont feel the pain anymore and if that time comes kakayanin ko na ciang iwanan.. tumawa habang iniiwan cia.. pro sa ngaun.. ok muna ko na ksama cia kahit umiiyak.. T_T
6-Dec-2008
,
22:19
it's weekend.. 2 days of rest ko at ni ex..
he'll be spending saturday with the other one and then on sunday with me.. aus diba?
un ang napag-usapan namin, one day for her and another day for me.. pra daw fair lng.. fair nga ba?!
i dont think so..
every time na magksama cla eh di kmi pwedeng mgkatext kc baka daw mkita ni A (gf nia) na katext ko cia.. and A hates me, she really really hates me.. khit nung di pa kmi tlga nagkkita ni ex eh galit na daw sa akin tlga un.. insecure daw xa sa akin, ayaw nia na ngkkwento si ex ng tungkol sa akin.. ganun?! sabagay, yoko din nmang mkarinig ng anything about her..
kapag mgkasama cla eh sobrang nappraning tlga ako, iniicp ko kung anong gingawa nila, kung san cla nagpunta, bkit ang tagal nilang mgksama, bkit di pa nagtetext c ex.. nakaka-aning.. nakakaiyak.. kung anu-anong pumpasok sa isip ko..
pro tulad nga ng sabi ko sa kanya, when i chose to take this path lam ko merong 1 sa aming 3 na lging iiyak.. at tanggap ko na ako yun.. T_T
tanga ko tlga.. tanga..
6-Dec-2008
,
12:59
di ko lam kung anong msamang pwersa ang sumanib sa akin at pumayag ako na mging friends kami ni ex.. cguro dahil i still want him in my life.. idk..
so open communication daw sbi nia.. so ako nman eh go lang, payag lang..
kwentuhn lng kmi thru text, nagkita din kmi sa MOA nung may car show..
parang walang nangyari in the past, parang ok lng lahat..
ciempre msaya ko kpag ksama ko cia.. kaplastikan nman kung ssbhin ko na nde db?
so libot lng kame sa car show.. may dala akong camera kya picture lng ako ng picture..
he would kiss me at my forehead, cheek.. ihuhug nia ko pra di ako mawala sa tabi nia, lakad daw kasi ako ng lakad at naiiwan ko na cia..
it felt right, but i know something's wrong.. this is wrong.
ndi na kame.. at may gf cia ngaun.. he left me for her nga diba?
we talked about our set-up kc disturbing..
nangliit ako.. feelig ko ang babang uri ko.. guilt ung napi-feel na may halong happiness..
he told me that he still love me and he's sorry for leaving me for another girl..
he still feel the pain daw of leaving me..
i asked him kung anong plano nia, is he going to break up with the girl?
sabi nia hahanap cia ng way pra magbreak cla ng gf nia..
until now magkatext kmi.. parang kami, pero may gf cia..
fuck.. tanga ko noh?! tanga! tanga!
pinahihirapan ko lng sarili, sharing him with another girl..
wow!! tanga tlga..
pro anong mgagawa ko? i love him.. nabulag na ko ng todo.. haayy..
lam ko kung anong dpat kong gawin, ung tamang gawin..
pro di ko magawa.. the fear of losing him again.. shet.. di ko kaya..
fuck..
tanga ko tlga..
6-Dec-2008
,
01:40
i created a new account in rakista.com.. kya ngaun eh newbie na nman ako.. LOL..
joined a few clan and made kulitan with other members.. ok nman.. friendly mga tao..
i think i need to mingle more with other people kahit online lng.. need to have a new set of friends na makakajamming ko.. not that i have no friends, meron din.. pro may gusto ako na di nila trip..
like my college friends, trip nila eh ung lging mag-outing at magpunta sa bhay ng mga clasmates namin.. ndi nman ako maka-join coz cavite is too far.. well, not that far.. it's just i'm too tired to travel 2-3hours just to go to cavite then stay for 1hour then alis na din.. nkakapagod din un.. at nkakaubos ng pera.. LOL.. kaya di din ako mciado nkakasama sa knila.. puro mga nasa cavite pa din kasi cla..
ung mga friends ko nman from the ofis eh movie, shopping, eating, diff resto at pagtambay sa starbux and trip nila.. ciempre gusto ko ung mga trip nilang un pro kpag halimbawa i feel like going to a certain rock concert or gig eh di nila ako msamahan kc di cla into rock or stuffs like that..
so ngaun eh i'm in a search for new kaibigan's.. hopefully mkhanap din ako.. yoko nman kc na gumala at umattend ng mga gigs at concert ng mag-isa.. pra akong tanga.. LOL.. although sbi nga nung isa kong online friend eh ok lng daw na mag-isa bsta ifeel mo ung music at enjoy mo lng.. sbi ko nman eh mas okay ung may ksama.. ksamang tumawa, mag-slam, inom at kung anik anik pa..
3-Dec-2008
,
22:10
as you all know, for those who are reading my blog. my boyfriend, well my ex, left me for another girl. yeah, poor me. what the heck?! i can live without him. yeaah.. ryyyyt...
well, in my quest for finding my sanity i've searched for songs fit for a broken-hearted.
Here is my list
will you ever learn - typecast
wasted time - fuel
you oughtta know - alanis morisette
my happy ending - avril lavigne
scars - papa roach
goodbye to you - michelle branch
how long - hinder
what happened to us - hoobastank
anything for you - evanescence
perfect world - simple plan
fall to pieces - avril lavigne
lost without you - darren hayes
youre so last summer - taking back sunday
painted on my heart - the cult
every rose has its thorn - poison
the scientist - coldplay
Rest in Pieces - Saliva
Always - Saliva
If You Could Only See - Tonic
Hemorhage - Fuel
Last Dance – Sarah McLaghan
Full Of Grace – Sarah McLaghan
Shimmer – Fuel
Insensitive – Jann Arden
Foolish Games - Jewel
Gone For Good – Morphine
Fade Away – Seether
Broken – Seether
Broken By You - Jordan Knight
The Best of Me - The Starting Line
'Til I Get Over You - Michelle Branch
You Don't Mean Anything - Simple Plan
dosed - red hot chili peppers
On my Own - The Used
The things we'll never know - Taking back sunday
Michelle Branch- are you happy now
Finch-Post script
Finch-grey matter
Finch-Ender
Trapt-Made of Glass
Seether-Broken
Seether-Pig
AFI-the leaving song part 2
New Found Glory- Forget Everything
New Found Glory-Dressed to Kill
New Found Glory-Ballad for the lost romantics
New Found Glory-Broken Sound
Smile Empty Soul-Eraser
Smile Empty Soul-For you
Foo Fighters-How i miss you
Papa Roach-She loves me not
The Starting Line- A million Hearts
Box Car Racer-Sorrow
12 Stones-Let Go
Incubus-I miss you
Good Charlotte-Can't go on
Good Charlotte-If you leave
The All american Rejects-Don't leave me
Dashboard Confessional-Broken Hearts and
Concrete floors
There Is - Box Car Racer
MOTORCYCLE DRIVE-BY- THIRD EYE BLINDc
See You Soon-Coldplay
Sinead O'Connor - Jealous
john mayer "comfortable"
eskobar "someone new"
U got it bad - Usher
She hates me - Puddle of Mud
BrandNew - "The No Seatbelt Song"
Staind - "Outside"
Taking Back Sunday - "Head Club"
Thursday - "Signals Over The Air"
Yellowcard - "Only One"
"Crucify My Love" by X Japan
sorry about that - alkaline trio
broken promise ring - the ataris
ender - finch
bleeder - hotwater music
You're so last summer by taking back sunday
Time of your Life- Greenday
Thanks You’re the Best- Starting Line
Bad Diary Days- Pedro the Lion
Long Goodnight- Get up Kids
Here without you - 3 Doors Down
![]("http://smfcreations.com/emily)
If you know any song that is not yet included in my list, please post it in here. I'm going to add it on my playlist. Thanks!
13-Nov-2008
,
23:12
song: wasted time by FUEL
this song is so perfect for me... it's as if it was written for me..
well.. my relationship of more than two years has ended..
all the time i spent.. all the efforts i've given.. all the love i gave.. it was all for nothing..
sad.. well i thank him for all the happy memories that we've shared.. not just pala happy memories, pati na rin sa mga sad moments na pinagsamahan namin..
he chose to let me go.. and he chose to be with another girl.. i begged and swallowed my pride but it was all for nothing..
T_T..
Jul. 1, 2008
,
12:15 PM
My last post was Dec 23, 2007. damn.
now i know im not a "blog person" lol
or am i?
ok, recap of what happened in the last 6 months:
-still single
-still work at the same place (U.S. Vision)
-still lives in an apartment
1st off, yes i'm still single. i guess i'm really not that attractive. sad to say, majority ng mga babae nowadays e masyadong pihikan. there are tons of girls at my work, but all of 'em aren't really into relationships. most of them just likes havin "fun", which i don't mind btw *wink* lols i get to hangout with them every weekends, hangout, listen to music, watch movies, "etc" *wink wink* i guess i can say this is better than nothing, right?
2nd, i still work at the same place, U.S. Vision. still on my 2nd lab, Finishing Lab, with my 2nd team, Thunder Team (i know, the team name sucks. hey i'm not the leader. if i was, i'd name it Yellow Lane team lol)
last yes im still livin' in my apartment. BUT NOT FOR LONG!! 'cuz by the end of july, i'm movin' to my new house. yes, we bought a house the other week and papers are just being finalized. for the 1st time in my life, i get to have my very own room!! no more fat, loud-snoring, teeth-grinding, toss & turn champion brother. hahaha!
Apr. 11, 2008
,
12:59 AM
last weekend eh napanood ko sa isang news program na slapshock will be going international... dahil kinuha sila ng isang international record label...
asteegg.. pero sana hindi mabago ung style nila... hindi maging pang-commercial... kasi may mga ibang banda na once makuha ng isang record label eh nagbabago ung way ng paggwa nila ng kanta at tono...
just saw their official website and dun ko lang nalaman na kasama pla sila sa isang rock fest sa middle east at dun sila nadiscover ng intl record label... then dun ko rin lang nakita na kilala din pla sila sa malaysia.. galeng..
sana lang gumawa pa rin cla ng mga kanta na tagalog... at bumalik pa cla dito sa pilipinas... sana sa PSS 9 eh kasama na ulit sila sa line up ng mga bands na tutugtog...
Apr. 9, 2008
,
03:06 PM
kung nagbabasa kayo ng diyaryo or nanonood lagi ng mga news program sa tv or nkikinig sa usapan ng ibang tao mababalitaan mo na may krisis sa bansa.. krisis sa pangunahing pangangailangan ng pinoy - pagkain.. partikular sa bigas, baboy at isda..
pahirapan daw ngaun sa ibang lugar sa pilipinas ang pagbili ng bigas, wag naman sanang pati dito sa manila eh magkaganon.. katakot.. ndi ako mkakapila kasi may work, t'wing weekend lang ako mkakabili..
pero sabi nga ng utol ko magsanay na daw kming kumain ng patatas.. hmm.. sosyal... mashed potato, baked potatoes, hash browns... kung patatas kasi ang issubstitute for rice eh mas mura.. dyosme.. dati may 25 per kilo na rice ngaun ang nkita ko na pinakamababa is 33 per kilo.. haayy... ang 5 pieces na patatas sa grocery eh 14 pesos lang.. mas mura talaga compared to rice..
aun sa isang balita hindi nman daw dpat magkukulang sa pagkain kung ndi palaki ng plaki ang populasyon dito sa pilipinas... hmm... tama... may napanood nga ako sa news, sbi nung ale eh nagsisisi na cia dahil andaming niyang naging anak sana daw eh di cla naging mapusok ng mister niya para maaus ang kanilang buhay.. susme, talaga nmang nasa huli ang pagsisisi.. 9 daw kasi ang anak nung ale, sana 2 na lang ang ginawa niya.. nanawagan pa cia sa lahat ng may asawa at yung mga mag-aasawa pa lang na wag damihan ang gagawing anak..
may napanood nman akong balita na kesyo nililihis lang daw ng gobyerno ang mga tao... gusto nilang mabaling ang atensiyon natin sa krisis na nangyayari para ndi na natin maalala ang sinimulan ni jun lozada.. waatt?!?! totoo kaya un?!?! hmm... para sa akin, ndi nila gagawin ang pagiimbento ng kwento or pagsisimula ng isang krisis para lang mawala ang atensiyon ng mga tao kay lozada kasi alam nila na kapag ginutom nila ang mga tao eh bka lalo pang magkaroon ng madaming welga at pagtitipon para pababain si pgma sa pwesto...
history is repeating itself.. parang may ganito nang nangyri dati.. at in the end napatalsik din ang mga nasa pwesto.. pareho kaya ang magiging katapusan this time around??
Dec. 24, 2007
,
8:30 AM
winter season. and i'm fuckin' hatin' it. not the season, the weather. it's too cold for someone who's not used to having winter season a.k.a. philipinne climate.
nagsnow na dito a few weeks a go. biglaan kaya nakakainis. but after a few days, yung ubod nang kapal na snow, dahan-dahang natunaw. and now, since the snow melted away, sumobra naman ang lamig ng hangin. amf how i hate you, snow!!
i ain;t expecting a white christmas here. and i'm hoping it'll stay that way.
SNOW SNOW, GO AWAY! i don't like you!! you're a cold-heart BIOTCH!!!
Dec. 24, 2007
,
8:27 AM
i bought myself a gift this coming christmas. yep, thats right. i bought byself a gift 'cuz i already know that no ones gonna give me one. that's how sad my life is. lmao
anyways, i bought a Diesel watch and a bunch of CDs and a new MP3 player. oh, and i new hoodie jacket. yung medyo makapal pinili ko kasi sobra na ang lamig dito.
Dec. 17, 2007
,
6:15 AM
a month past since the last post was posted. a lot has happened in 30 days.
i gots promoted from work. from "fining" lenses for eyeglasses at the Surfacing department to ACTUALLY putting the eyeglasses together. naks, tga-buo na ako ng salamin! hahahah!! plus, i got another raise X3
family. my uncle and aunt went to visit the pinas. they left last Dec 4 and gonna stay there until January 21 next year. tangina nakakainggit!! gusto ko ring umuwi saten!! T_T
life. i bought a new computer. had to make a huge cut on my bank account to buy one though.
it's a Dell Inspiron 531S Windows Vista Home Premium. AMD Athlon 64 x2 Dual Core Processor 4000+ 2.10GHz, Memory of 958MB witha 32-bit Operating System. medyo mababa specs for it works for me lol
i have to think of other stuff to put in here, since matagal na akong hindi nakapagpost.
Nov. 12, 2007
,
1:29 AM
and now, i'm enjoying my hawaiian pizza, mash potato, and 2L of Coke.
life is good. well.. at least when you're eating the food you want lol
Nov. 11, 2007
,
10:26 AM
tomorrow's sunday. amazingly, i'm free the whole fuckin' day at my house and no ones gonna be around until night time. now, the problem is... what to do.
here are some of the suggestions i got earlier today from random people:
at home:
- watch T.V.
- eat lots of food
- clean my room
- to some laundry
- rent some DVDs
- go online and check, edit, and post stuff
- pay bills
outside:
- go watch a movie or two
- check some instruments out
- look and buy some CDs
- go to Philadelphia for a while
- buy a big-ass philly cheesestake
- buy some posters
- buy some Magic cards
well, as for now, i'll go with the flow. maybe someone might call me and ask to hangout, or i find something amazing to do at home. i guess i'll find out in oh say... 12 hours from now? lol
